One of the most complicated aspects of aging is dealing with the health care system and my own body without getting sucked into the dinosaur system that gives ordinary people little control or decision-making: attitudes and empathy matter.

Self-pity and complaining are not healthy.

I have a wicked virus now, but I am one of the lucky ones. I never let myself forget this. I understand the health care system is broken for many people. But I don’t deal with politics in the context of my new health drama.

Going there is not healthy for me or anyone, as I learn I have a strong virus to contend with.

I have good health care and a doctor I think the world of. American medicine has saved my life several times in several different ways. I’m grateful for that, period.

We all know the awful problems that surround in adequate health care, which has become an almost impossible morass tangled up in our broken political system.

I’m writing this journal because I found out this week that I didn’t have a stroke as I feared, but a viral illness called “Bell’s Palsy,” a neurological condition that causes sudden, usually temporary weakness and paralysis in the muscles of one side of the face.

I want my experience to be a help to others.

Bells Palsy occurs when the facial curve (the 7th cranial nerve becomes inflamed or swollen. Researchers believe the exact cause, still unknown, is a viral infection. It can last for months, sometimes for life. Most people recover in time.

The first signs of Bell’s Palsy represent the same signs of a stroke, and my dentist thought I was having one this week when he called off my tooth cleaning and insisted I get to the hospital.

I did, and spent a frightening day getting every part of my body examined by high-tech giant machines. It took doctors 10 hours to let me go home. I am grateful for the sudden and thorough examination.

I also refused to add additional examinations that one doctor wanted me to have; it was clearly (to me) unnecessary.

My primary care physician, whom I trust, agreed. Sometimes, I know, I have to be my own advocate.

I’ve had open heart surgery, a toe amputation, a collapse that caused minor brain damage, and other dramas, and the examinations unanimously found that my heart, brain, and blood sugar are all in excellent form at this time, considering my age.

I am learning that Bell’s Palsy is not life-threatening, but can be uncomfortable and even debilitating for weeks or months. I’m getting organized, and an eye patch is coming tomorrow to cover my eye, which needs constant drops to prevent dehydration. This will perhaps be the most serious problem I face.

I feel like I always feel when I run into a serious health issue. I remind myself that attitude is central to health. Good doctors and good patients understand the connection between stress and sickness. So do wise patients.

I’ve learned not to complain about the system, even when I can’t always accept it. We have become a nation of whiners and complainers, many of us seeking overwhelmed doctors and people to blame for the shortcomings of our society.

Perhaps the people who complain the most will one day elect to office people who will solve problems rather than hide behind them or exploit them.

When I woke up the night of my heart surgery, I had tubes all over me and said I needed to take a walk. The nurses were shocked, but they took most of the tubes out, and I started walking and walking every time I woke up in bed. When I did 30 rounds around my recovery room, they sent me home, and I was working three days later.

Believe me, I am no Superman, athlete, or tough guy. I have learned to take responsibility for my health, not simply place it on others or complain anout people wanting to help them and are given few tools to do so.

I have to have faith in myself.

I also realize that my health depends on my refusal to give up on life because I am old. Keeping busy and involved is essential to my health. The healthiest medicine I take is my writing on my blog and work at the local food Pantry, helping hungry people to eat.

I make decisions with my doctor, but I don’t do everything I am told or take every step the system may want me to take. I have the right to live as I wish and die as I wish, and I won’t give that up to anyone. I want to be well, but I want to be me.

Another thing I do for health is my photography, a passion that brings me out ito nature and the world, and out of my own laments and suffering. I never treat a nurse or doctor badly, even though I see that happen every time I land in a hospital.

We have drifted into a culture of cruelty and complaint- no one and nothing is good enough for us or doing enough for us. This may often be true, but my response is to do good every time people or governments promote hatred and cruelty.

This new illness is a difficult one; it is uncomfortable and affects my work, eyesight, writing, and eating habits.

One by one, I will take on these challenges and put the information to good use. My first step is to put a patch over my eye so I can continue my photography, see clearly, and keep the eye moist.

This is supposed to help. I’ll pick up the other issues or feelings as they come along and share them in the hope of being useful to others. I am surprised to learn a lot people have had to deal with Bells Palsy.

I intend to inform, not dictate or complain. I’m a fortunate man, and I learned this week I am also a healthy man, especially for my age.

I remind myself to treat the people I meet in health care as I wish to be treated, and I believe I have been treated well, in part because of that. I also firmly believe that self-pity and whining kill.

That’s all for the first round. I’ll keep the process up on my blog. I hope it might be helpful, something that is also healing for me.