My donation today: Brighten a room. A black desk lamp for $12.05.
Several months after the election, I am pleased to say that my friends who voted for Donald Trump are still my friends, I think we have learned some things from one another and also managed to rise about the awful dialogue between the “left” and the “right,” the only two choices we are given in one of the supposedly freest countries in the history of the world.
I have always believed the “left” and the “right” narrative, the prism through which all thought in our public life is now being channeled in politics and media, is a cruel illusion. It pretends that we have choices when we really don’t. This is how they keep us distracted.
I have no interest in either label, neither completely speaks my mind or reflects my values.
I am pleased that every one of my friends who supports Donald Trump – I have many more than I realized – have contributed to the refugee gift page put up by the U.S. Committee on Refugees And Immigration to help newly arrived and legal immigrants to America.
It is not a problem or contradiction to them, it is just about helping good people in need.
This page is, I am happy to say, not about the larger conflicts raging around the country. It stands by itself. It is healing and uplifting in itself.
I often feel trapped these days between two angry and hysterical groups of people trading anger and conspiracy theories with one another. I regret that our political dialogue and “news” is something for healthy and rational people to avoid. Neither is helping us. Our world is not coming to an end and Donald Trump, all by himself, is not my idea of salvation. We have to start talking to each other again, not just shouting.
We will do it together or perish together.
My Trump friends and I do not view the world in the same way. In some cases, we are very much in sync in others, and if is not difficult to find common ground if one can still listen and learn – hard in our new politics. I am working on it, and am better for it. They call it democracy.
The question of helping legal and thoroughly screened refugees is not a political issue for me, it is a human one, and a simple one.
These are good and blameless people whose lives were upended through not fault of their own.
Whatever happens regarding the larger issues of immigration, I do not see the gift page as a vote for or against Donald Trump, that is not the point or the purpose.
It is an effort to help fellow human beings who have suffered but very much played by our rules. They applied to come here, have submitted to exhaustive screening, have waited years and sacrificed greatly. They work hard and love their children. I hope people on all sides of the spectrum will consider helping them.
They need everything and it is simple and inexpensive to help them.
I have learned a lot in recent months as I work to listen and learn, rather than declaim, rage and argue. I don’t have all of the answers, I don’t have a lock on righteousness and truth. The hard truth is we need each other, they can’t do it without me, and I can’t do it without them.
I absolutely reject the idea that our personal politics are arguments to be fought on social media and in our personal lives. That will kill off a democracy quicker than any terrorists or enemies. I will not be angry all the time or live in fear. I intend to live my life, and use every precious day remaining to me well.
My Trump friends are not stupid, nor are they racists and bigots. I have learned from them. They have not changed my values, and I have not changed theirs, that is not the purpose or the goal. They love their country, as I do, and speak their conscience, as I hope I do.
I guess I’m a freak, but I believe political positions are generally personal, and it is not my business to talk people out of theirs, or argue mine. I don’t need to know who you voted for, and I have no intention of judging you for it.
But I think we have softened one another, my Trump friends and I. We can step in the shoes of the other and move past labels like “left” and “right” and “liberals” and “conservatives.” We live beyond daily tweets and cable news panels. I believe there are two or more sides to any question.
We can unite over this: it is a good thing to give an eight-year-old boy, alone in a strange country, a soccer ball. That tells him this can be home too. It is good to give his mother a teapot, and his father blankets to keep the family warm in their first winter. It is good to give them a lamp, so they can see in the dark.
On this page, all are welcome, and there is nothing much to argue about. This is a good way to start the process of coming together. We have been doing that, the gifts are pouring in. Sending a gift does not make one a holy or righteous person, declining to send a gift does not make one evil.
A friend of mine posted a question on Facebook: “Wouldn’t it be great not to read anything political on FB for a day?”
Yes, I answered. It would. I do it every day.
My choice is to live about the the daily hysteria and confrontation, to listen and learn, to seek out common ground, to turn away from panic and hysteria. And to do good as I see it.
My life and values are not arguments for others. When we assume that people who disagree with us are stupid and inferior, then we stop being righteous and become instead self-righteous. They are two very different things. I don’t hate people who disagree with me.
Meanwhile, there are good people who could use some help. They have lost everything and need everything. They are no threat to us.
One way I do it is to send a gift to the newly arrived refugees every day. You can do it for pennies and it is simple. You can stop arguing and do good.
My donation today is a black metal desk lamp for $12.05. You can go argue on Facebook, or you can brighten a room right now.