I’m learning that life is all about chapters, old and new, and our chapters could end up being an encyclopedia.
It was an exciting day and a new chapter in our lives together. This morning, my eye doctor, Dr. Solomon, said my vision is now 20-20, and I will not need to wear glasses anymore for the rest of my life. That is quite a shock for me; I’ve been wearing glasses all my life.
Both operations were successful. I have a few weeks of healing, but all is well.
(picture, my new Walgreen’s sunglasses.)
Dr. Solomon said I might need bifocals for reading when the dust settles from my surgery. I bought new sunglasses at Walgreens, the first glasses I ever bought from a pharmacy.
Maria learned this morning that the insurance company decided her car, which was involved in an accident last week, is being “totaled,” which means she will be paid the estimated value of her car but not the cost of a total repair. We know that doesn’t come near the price of a new car.
She wrote about it on her blog today.
She was rear-ended from behind on the highway in front of our house; her car was spun around and into an opposing lane. We were surprised that the cost of the damages was so high.
A crash I called a fender-bender turned out to be much more; the cost of fixing it would be greater than its value. Maria got the car, a 2014 Hyundai, for $6,000. Used vehicles in its category now cost at least $10,000 unless they are in awful shape.
Buying another car would cost thousands, and it’s not a good time for us. We both work all the time and resonate with the people who say it’s tough to stay even, let alone get ahead. We mean to be ahead.
We discussed this all morning and came to a surprising (at least for me) conclusion. Rather than sink us into debt and obligation, we both decided to accept the payment and not buy another car (we did stop and look at current used car prices in a lot or two, yuk). It turns out that what matters is what we need rather than what we have.
After considering the pros and cons, we came to the same conclusion: We can do this. We should do this. We can and will work it out. We both work at home and can and will find ways to get help when needed. We will work together and within our schedules to make it work. I am not a man with a lot of ego in his car.
This marks a new phase in my life that has as much to do with aging as it does with money. I’m 77 and love to go out, but not so often that I can’t work it around Maria’s schedule. We are both work alcoholics who work from dawn to dusk. My life is centered around Maria, the farm, the animals, my pictures, my blog. When she goes out, I stay home. Simple.
Maria has more friends than I do, so she can use the car whenever possible to visit them. I am, as always, content to live my life and do my work in peace. That was the life of the book writer – to work alone – and that’s the way of my life.
We both have always seen our car as a measure of our independence and freedom. That doesn’t stand up anymore. We don’t need to protect our independence from other people. We trust one another never to do that to support our work and independence, not to suffocate it.
I’m working on ways to get our car to the garage when necessary and to borrow or rent a car when we need one. We have friends who will help. My life is about Maria, what she needs, and mine. I suspect we will all be making new and complex decisions in the future.
This is another recognition of the reality of life, and I don’t morbidly mean this. I’m in good health now, but a man my age with diabetes and heart disease is not to live all that much longer. I accept that; I won’t hide from it or deny it. And I won’t surrender to it. I’m not going anywhere yet. I don’t intend to leave a mess behind me.
I don’t need a car the way I used to. And I am committed to living within the limits of our lives and incomes. More than anything, I want Maria to continue with her art and life for as long as she wants, whether I am here or not.
The thing that most ties Maria and me to one another is trust. Having a car is a significant change but also a bit scary. Independence is not a small thing for us.
But we will make it work. And if, for some reason, it doesn’t, then we’ll go and think of something else.
I know she can care for herself, and I never want to be selfish or indifferent about that. This is a lot of money we can save. My surgery has made it easy for me to read again, and I am grateful and will take full advantage of that.
My goal is to spend the rest of my life working to do good to people who have no one to help them, to make my photography better all the time, to keep on writing until I drop, to love Maria with a whole heart and soul, to make my blog better and better, to care for the animals here and celebrate our wonderful life together. And to keep on working on myself to be a better human.
I don’t need my car to do that. Mother Earth will appreciate another automobile taken out of circulation and a little less fossil fuel in the air, and we will enjoy a reduction in our car insurance costs.
Our lives together are about understanding and support; this is another way to cement that into our relationships and love. So, as of Friday morning, we are a one-car family. Those new chapters keep on coming.
