I left the big camera behind because air travel is such a nightmare anyway, it was too heavy and cumbersome to drag thorugh security and haul around a big place like Disney World. So I got the Canon G11 and tried it out. The clarity is wonderful and the pull of color also very impressive. It sure is light to carry and very versatile in strange light situations like the one above, shot on a boat heading for Epcot at dusk. It is a great second camera. There were a lot of painfully wonderful shots that the G11 lens just wasn’t big enough to get or pick up. But I had a good time with it. I’m groggy now and still unpacking. And I have a lot of shoveling to do. A lot. I’ll check back in once I get some food, plow through the mail and phone messages.
I’ve been fascinated by Walt Disney for some time and wrote quite a bit about him for “Wired” and “Rolling Stone.” I was planning on doing a book inspired by him called “The Tragedy of Technology” when dogs entered my life and my career tooka different track.
Disney was a driven genius, sometimes a monster to work with or for, but powered by this nearly insane intensity to create. Disney World, for all of its saccharine marketing and crowding, is unique in the world, and perhaps the most enjoyed place on the earth. I hope to write a bit more about Disney and his complex visions this weekend. Surely Disney World could never have been conceived or constructed by the corporatists who have taken over the entertainment industry. It’s miraculous they haven’t quite destroyed it yet. I always photograph this statue of Disney in front of the castle, and I loved the symbolism of this photo, which speaks for itself.
February 26, 2010 – Back from Disney. Missed some of the monster storm, but got about 22 inches of it.
Had a good time at Disney World, although it was almost as cold there as it was here. I think the visit was a turning point in a lot of ways. Time to move ahead, with my life, and some travels. Had a good time visiting the gorillas at Animal Kingdom and poking around Disney themes relating to technology and culture. More about that later.
Will be digging out for awhile. I’m glad I don’t have gorillas on the farm. Walked and walked (blisters and blisters). I am pretty happy with the Canon G 11 I took – light, versatile, clear and great color. I missed the big lens, but got some good shots. I’ll put them up over the next few days.
(I will be away for several days. I will be back, and shortly. I appreciate your support and encouragement of my life and work, more than I can say or have said.)
February 21, 2010- I lost a dear friend a few years ago and found her again this weekend, and we both were overwhelmed a bit out of relief and joy, and at some of the very painful and profound things we shared before we lost touch. And we talked and talked, for hours today. I will not lose her again.
She reminded me of some important things. Forgive yourself, and move on. Fight for your life. Do not internalize the sometimes destructive and demeaning view others may have had of you, things that may have shaped or harmed you. Both of us, she reminded me, have been looking for a home. I may have found mine.
If you want to know who you are, she said, read your own books. I was frozen by that. She said I was a compassionate man, and I said I never thought of myself that way.
She shared with me a writing that has sustained her and I will keep it close to me, as it speaks very much to my life and the struggles I am undertaking to know who I am, and to gather strength, perhaps universal quest.
“We cannot live in a world that is interpreted for us by others. An interpreted world is not a home. Part of the terror is to take back our own listening, to use our own voice, to see our own light.”
– Hildegard von Bingen, Christian mystic
That speaks to many threads in my life. To Joseph Campbell, who warns us that when the mask comes off, we better be prepared. To Hannah Arendt, who cautions us to live by our own lights, not the interpretations of others. And to fight for self respect, not approval. To Mary Oliver, who pleads with us to put our lips to the world. And live. To Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who writes that there is no greater glory than to live and die for love. To Thomas Merton, who tells us to find our inner light and set it free. To Winston Churchill, who reminded the world that we must always fight for the light and against the darkness.
This was, of course, my terror and for most of my life. And my struggle. To take back my own listening. To use my own voice, and tell my own stories. In words and images, to see my own light.
