March 24, 2010 – My short time off is over. I have three short stories to re-work, and am getting at them before the sun comes up. I wasn’t much good at this resting thing, although Maria and I did go out with good friends last night and I got a little buzzed – unusual for me, but fun. She drove.
This is a challenging time, some unpleasantness to deal with and it makes me sad and angry. But when I write, the world vanishes. Many lovely and encouraging comments from many good people, much appreciated.
Maria and I talk a lot about whether to move to a New Bedlam Farm – if we go anywhere, it will be a farm – and we both are at the same place, as usual. We will wait, take the Buddhist route, give it a bit of time, see what happens. There are decisions you make, and there are decisions that make themselves. We are happy here, comfortable and productive. It is a good place for four active dogs and a person who writes about them. A good place of inspiration for novels and children’s books. There are, of course, other good places. Maybe some smaller simpler ones.
We will be happy if we stay, and happy if we go. It is not clear that we ought to sell the farm, not really clear that something simpler and smaller wouldn’t make sense. So that’s a good reason to get on with our work and see what happens. I am struggling to learn the difference between what I can control and what I can’t and shouldn’t. New idea for me. I am still struggling with the fear of a seven-year-old boy who doesn’t think he can function alone in a world of scary people and things. He is trying to meet the older man with a book contract and a farm. They are getting to know one another, slowly and cautiously.
My sister is a great help, and she calls me up to scold me several times a week in a loving and wise way and she is telling me to stand up for myself, and say goodbye to the little terrified boy she knew so well. What an interesting thing life is, if you step back and think about it. Raining out, poor day for photos. To the keyboard.
I am mulling an Applie Ipad. The thing just looks irresistible.