Day: May 22, 2013

My goal is to live every day fully but Tuesday was as full a day as I can remember in recent times. It began gently, with my writing an Iris-inspired vagina monologue, it just came out. Then a discussion about a photograph of dogs outside of a hardware store touched off an intense discussion about safety, freedom, sensitivity and righteousness that drew hundreds of responses on Facebook. Cranked up from that,  I went for my  Tai Chi lesson, a change of pace for sure.

Then we voted in a local school board election, did some shopping, and then came home to find Ma struggling, unable to walk, and an hour later the vet was hear and we were cleaning out infected wounds for a couple of hours. A day filled with life, we collapsed around nine p.m. and spent the night listening to a Thunderstorm symphony, driving rains, lightning booming and banging. I had a midnight inspection visit to the barn to see how the donkeys and Ma and the sheep were doing. We all stood staring out at the downpour.

Of these things, the hardware photo bears some thought. I get lots of e-mails that I don’t care for, and I rarely write about them. This one suggested that my photo of three dogs in a car outside of a local hardware store was both irresponsible and “dangerous” in that it seemed to sanctioned dogs riding in cars and we were coming into mild and warm weather, and I should not run such photos and if I did, link to websites cautioning people on the dangers of pets in overheated cars.

I don’t like to challenge people who e-mail me. I know that people who send nasty letters are outraged and stunned when they are called on it, and I don’t want to spend my time in life arguing with people. And since I am generally in a more powerful position than people writing nasty e-mails, it feels like bullying  to go after them. Sometimes, though, issues are raised that are important to discuss. I am responsible for the words I write, so are the people who write to me. And the responses – one of the most intense responses I have seen on this blog – affirmed my decision. People wanted to talk about it. Why? For the same reason I wanted to write about it.

Animal safety is important, animal abuse is bad. I doubt there is anyone reading this who would dispute that. But it is very easy to lose perspective when you think you are doing righteous work, it is simple to become angry with people and to tell them what to do. This strain in the animal culture has grown. When a neat photograph of three happy and healthy dogs waiting for their owner outside a hardware store on an early Spring morning (I remember there was a frost that morning) becomes “dangerous” and should not be taken or published, then we have gone beyond issues of animal safety and into the real of freedom, free expression, perspective and proportion.

Our culture has become infected with fear, anger and judgment. That is why I wrote about, that is why there were hundreds of responses in a minute. We all know there are some people who mistreat animals and are neglectful and callous about their care. This is part of our life in the world, this is part of life happening. It cannot mean that every photo taken must be seen through this narrow and disturbing prism. That is just the pressure to censor in a different context. If the government tried it, people would be shrieking.

Anita, the woman who e-mailed me wrote back and said she was just trying to keep animals safe. I appreciate that, I am sure it is true. But I told her she had lost perspective, and that does not keep dogs safe. Animal safey is one issue in the world, it is not the only one. It does not serve the interests of animals when people come to associate animal welfare and animal rights with stridence, arrogance and self-righteousness. I hear so many people dismiss the very legitimate issue of animal rights because they are weary of the obnoxious rigidity and unthinking hostility of people who say they love animals, but seem to see that as a reason for mistreating, even hating, humans.

It does not do those three loving and healthy animals in the photo any good. As it is, they are quite happy and well-cared for.

I loved Tuesday, it was so full of life, a rich mix between ideas, spirituality, and the care of animals,  another day Maria and I came through with the very loving feeling of having done some important things together and in a loving and supportive way. I could use a quieter day but a documentary crew is on the way to interview me about animal grieving, and I have to give more shots to Ma. So maybe this won’t be the day. Thanks for all the interesting comments yesterday, I am loving the blog more than ever and we are working to figure out how to really communicate in this very new kind of community.

I want to share a wonderful experience I had this morning. Yesterday, I began a program of Tai Chi as part of my daily spiritual practice, I began receiving instruction from an experienced and committed teacher, Scott Carrino. This morning, I went out into the pasture by the apple tree to practice Tao Chi for the first time on my farm, after meditating. I stood by the tree, took up the stance I had been taught and opened my eyes to the movement all around me, the birds, the trees, the water in the stream, and I began the two movements I was taught yesterday. The morning was warm, there was a strong and refreshing breeze, the sheep were under the tree in front of me. As I began my movements, I felt some pressure at my back. Simon had come up behind me and pressed his forehead against my  back, as if to offer support, to steady me. Lulu and Fanny came up to me from the front, Fanny pressed her head into my stomach, Lulu came up on my left and stood alongside of me.

I was surprised, touched. Donkeys are the most spiritual of creatures, and the most intuitive, but they have never done this to me before in this way. If was as if they knew what I was doing, had joined into the spirit of the Tai Chi, an old Chinese form of movement meditation and martial arts. I stood there for a few moments and moved my arms in two circles, as I taught, slowly and easily. I was aware of the wind on my face, of the leaves in the apple tree moving, of the water rushing in the stream, of the frogs in the swamp, the sheep gathering in front me, but mostly I felt as if the donkeys and I had joined together in this meditation, connecting the human and animal spirits, reconnecting me to the natural world, centering me and bringing to me the greatest sense of calm and peace and hope and goodwill. I saw clearly that my life is wonderful, peaceful and that life is precious and affirming. The donkeys were absolutely still, they were speaking to me in the most tangible of ways, they had opened themselves up to me.

I turned and rubbed Simon’s nose, then scratched Lulu and Fanny alongside their heads and then I resumed my Tai Chi movements. None of them moved. They seemed so peaceful, they were leading me to a peaceful place. This is so wonderful, I felt a physical sensation of opening up, of the greatest connection, of the most powerful support. It seemed, in a way, they were the teachers, they knew how to lead me.

The donkeys and I stood like this for more than 10 minutes, and I shouted to Maria to come and see, she was in her Studio Barn. How sweet, I said, what a wonderful thing to have happened to me. This was one of the most spiritual moments I have ever experienced, and the donkeys and I will continue this meditation this afternoon and the tomorrow and every morning I am at the farm. I have never felt closer to the world around me, to Mother Earth, nor have I felt a stronger connection between my own soul and the moving life around me. All of the clutter of my life and the world around me melted away and I was one with these ancient creatures, sharing my meditation with them. Neither of them moved until I was finished, and I knew I had been supported and communicated with through these spirit creatures, these magical helpers on the here journey. I wanted to share this with you.

Sheep people and large animal vets have all heard the saying, “Sick Sheep Suddenly Die.” When sheep get sick, they often, not always, die and usually it’s suddenly. I hope we have avoided that outcome this time. We called the vet in time, before her infections from Red’s bites spread. This morning, we pulled the gauze fillings out of her three wounds, gave her one pain-killer shot and one penicillin – big needles, deep injections to the muscle. She was good and stood still. She is eating well, moving around, and the wounds seem to have drained. We’re putting spray on to keep flies off. She already looks better, and I think we are at the healing time, when her body is strong enough to heal. She’s out with the other sheep and moving well.

Farm people are always ambivalent about calling large animal vets, they are expensive and one is never sure if you need to call or not. With wounds like bites, I think it is always good to call, because if something is wrong, it is very difficult to make it right. I think we got this in time, and I hope that is true. Red was only doing his job, but I do not like the idea of a sheep dying because of one of my dogs, it happens, and it’s life, but I don’t like the idea. Sick Sheep Sometimes Live.

An innovative and exciting new art gallery is opening this Saturday in Pawlet, Vt. I had decided to forego selling or showing my photographs but Gregory Deluca persuaded me to print up a half-dozen and sell them inexpensively. He is a huge fan of Maria’s work is showing and selling some potholders and some pillows. We are going there Saturday from 1 to 3 p.m. for the gallery opening, it’s in a beautiful spot outside of Pawlet near Manchester and Dorset, Vt., a great day for taking a Spring ride in the country. Red has also been invited.

Photography has changed with the advent of digital imaging, there are millions of good photographers now but some images are special, wherever they come from. Greg, a former gallery director at the Southern Vermont Arts Center,  has chosen photos of Lenore, Ma, some windowsill art, the chickens on the rocking chair and a barn shot or two. Good choices. He agrees with my notion of my photography as being about emotional realism. There is a lot of emotion in the images, but they come from real life, sometimes gritty real life. He is selling six of my photos for $65, a good price I think. You can also order photos on the phone or soon, online. So stop by if you are around and help us celebrate the opening of this gallery. Greg has gathered more than 30 of the best artists in the region and the gallery is different and exciting. You can check out Maria’s stuff on her website.