Lulu balked again at crossing the water at the flooded gate in the new pasture. Simon and Fanny hopped over and started grazing. Zelda led the sheep right across and jumped the water, which was amazing (I got it on video – later). But Lulu was stymied, she ran back and forth across the fence line looking for a way in, Simon and Fanny both brayed to her, and when they saw she wouldn’t come in, they both ran back across the water and to the pole barn. We’ll try again later this morning. Video to come. Their loyalty to one another is powerful and poignant.
This is Day Three for “Listening To Dogs: How To Be Your Own Training Guru,” and it is atop almost all of the e-book lists on dog training and care. It is provoking the kind of discussion I hoped for. The dog world is rich in love and connection, in anger and righteousness and I have always seen this idea, this book as a call for a spiritual path in our lives with dogs and other animals.
Having a dog is not about anger, judgement, not about dogma and orthodoxy, that is one of my major causes of unease with contemporary dog training. Spirituality is inner-directed, not dictated from above with fixed notions of thought and feeling. The Internet promotes connection but it also promotes anger and self-selection. We tend to listen to the people who agree with us and get angry at everyone else and dismiss them, because we no longer speak to them directly. My life with dogs and my other animals has been a profoundly spiritual experience, one that has helped me move away from anger and fear and impatience and frustration. And from judgment. To train a dog, to love a dog, is to listen, not talk, to be curious, not all-knowing, to be patient, not demanding, to be encouraging, not coercive.
If you love a dog more than yourself, you will not tell other people how to get one or live with one. Or how you must train one. You will celebrate the life of the dog, the idea that the relationship is personal, individual, rich in connection and communication. For me, this idea does not come from books or ideologies, tricks or tips. It is an internal process build on the foundation of self-awareness and understanding, listening, learning, changing and experimenting. Together. I do not see this idea often in the training world, filled with manuals and instructions, do’s and dont’s. Can those be helpful? Sure. But as an aid, not a replacement for taking responsibility for you and your relationship with your dog. Some people have already discovered that “Listening To Dogs” is a spiritual book, an empowerment book, not a training book. It is, I hope the other path – away from arrogance, anger, the corruption of money, controversy and the always inhibiting feeling of being made to feel foolish and incompetent. Y
We live in a world of experts and consultants, and we are losing respect for the power and worth of the individual. This is evident to me in the animal world, and especially when it comes to training. You are the best trainer of your dog, you have the best ideas and the best chance of reaching him or her, and accepting this is the first step towards the true meaning of training: to communicate and live together in the world in harmony and connection.
I read once that mythology begins where madness starts. I believe we are either mythically or security driven. “A person who is truly gripped by a calling, by a dedication, by a belief: by a zeal, will sacrifice his security, will sacrifice even his life, will sacrifice personal development; he will give himself entirely to his myth,” wrote Joseph Campbell. Christ suggested this to his followers when he said “He that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.”
I have long been gripped by this zeal, by a calling, and I understood that I was sacrificing my security, I have turned myself over to my myth. I mean to live a meaningful life, to grow spiritually, to stand in my truth even though that upsets, even enrages others sometimes. In our world, a mythically driven life is disturbing, threatening, and on this path, there is anger everywhere. There is also love and understanding. I sometimes think it would be wonderful to retreat into my farm, my life with Maria, my life with animals, my writing and my photography. But that is not a meaningful life, it is another way to hide from myself.
I don’t wish to run from life, but to embrace it and accept it and learn how to live with it. Life is my secret partner, it follows me everywhere, it is rich and wondrous and awful and joyous. I am struck with the awakening of awe, of fascination, of the search for and experience of wonder, of mystery – the awareness of my bliss, of being seized by something so that I am pulled out of myself and out into the world. Along the way I will come to know who I am and why I am here. For me, mythology did begin with madness, and may end there as well. Crisis and mystery and love are just around the corner.
Donkeys are unlike other animals I have known. When the vet comes, other animals will try to run away from other animals being treated. Donkeys rush to one another, lean their heads against one another, crowd against the vet. They are never apart, they never turn away from one another. It was a bit wrenching to see Lulu balk at crossing the stream to the new pasture. Simon has been watching Todd Mason build the fence for days, he sees the brush and grass on the other side, places to explore, he could hardly wait to get across, wading through the mud. Fanny, a little nervous followed them, but Lulu was afraid to enter the muddy water, she has not had to deal with water before.
Simon turned and brayed to her and Fanny did so, only more softly. Lulu brayed back. Simon and Fanny grazed a bit, but wouldn’t move out of Lulu’s sight. Then it started raining and they all came back into the Pole Barn. Today we shall try again, later this morning. We aren’t forcing Lulu or even encouraging her – this rarely works with donkeys, they have their own minds – and there is no reason to push her. She will get there eventually. That is also the Dao of donkeys, their curiousity pulls them along every time. But when they do finally cross, they will do it together. I’ll go out and shoot a video of the re-opening of the pasture this morning.
