Day: July 14, 2013

Jack’s Hot Dog Stand, North Adams, Massachusetts. “Fit For A King. Since 1917.”

Walking around North Adams, Mass. on our delayed anniversary celebration Friday, Maria and I came across preparations for “Beach Day,” an annual North Adams event in which the town fills up a street with plastic pools and beach sand – lots of beach sand – and families with kids come out in the evening by the hundreds and swim an play. This struck me as ironic in a state with lots of world famous beaches just a few hours down the road, but it is a huge hit in North Adams, we came by at night and every inch of sand was filled with happy kids and their beaming parents. I love this merchant who was helping out by filling up the pools, moving his chair from one to the other.

North Adams is the home of the huge museum Mass MOCA and is being gentrified, but is still in those awkward stages between one kind of community ethos and another. Neat place.

Most of us who love animals – I think everyone reading this does – consider ourselves animal advocates, I know I do, but advocacy can be defined in many different ways with different perspectives. It is quite common to hear people who love their pets say it is impossible to love an animal too much. It’s a quick, flip and reflexive answer that shuts down thought and squashes perspective. People who love animals often say things like that – “I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t love dogs.”

It is, of course, possible to love anything too much if you think about it, but the love of animals has become so intense and reactive that many people don’t think about it, and that is where animal advocacy comes in. Some time ago, I realized I need to be less arrogant and rigid in my view of animals, I need to humble myself and think more about what is really best for them, not just me. Animals do a lot for us, they feel many holes in our lives and we owe them at the very least some consideration when it comes to their  well-being.

When I was interviewed by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation a week ago on the topic of “Can We Love Our Animals Too Much?” I got lots of good responses and many expected ones saying, “you can’t love animals too much, period. It is impossible.”  But I believe it is possible, I believe it is epidemic.

I know a man who couldn’t say no to his dog when it came to food and treats. The man felt good when the dog was happy, and treats and large helpings of dog food became a constant.  He just couldn’t refused his dog, he loved making him happy. The dog gained weight, had painful joint problems, developed heart disease over a couple of years and died of congestive heart failure at the age of seven. The man loved his dog so much he killed him. (Over-feeding is one of the leading causes of death for dogs in America).

A woman has an aggressive dog who has repeatedly attacked other dogs – he nearly killed a terrier – and she simply cannot bear to see him as a dog who should be kept away from other dogs and warn dog owners away. “I know he is sweet, she has a great heart,” she says. She loves seeing him play. She loves her dog too much. Her love obscures the reality of her dog’s life. He will kill a dog or get in trouble either from lawsuits or the police. She is putting her dog and other dogs at risk. She loves him too much.

A Wall Street executive had a boxer who was anxious and confused about being left alone. Rather than train the dog, the man brought him to vet and put him on medication for separation anxiety and depression. One day, he left the back door open and the dog ran into the street and was hit by a truck and killed. The man loved his dog too much. More than 300,000 dogs in America are on medication for separation anxiety and depression. A decade ago, hardly any dogs were medicated for anxiety and depression. Are they getting crazier, or are we?

I have a friend who believes his dog was abused, like so many other people do, and so that, he says, is why the dog cannot be trained. It would be cruel, he says, he is too sensitive, he has been through enough. The dog runs off, has no recall, jumps on people, barks uncontrollably and has accidents in the house regularly. My friend loves his dog too much. It seems he needs to see the dog as abused more than he wants to train and acclimate him to our world. He has, of course, no idea if the dog was abused or not, dogs don’t talk and abusers don’t usually confess, the dog is anxious and confused, as poorly trained dogs often are. He loves his dog too much.

I met a man who believes crating a dog is cruel, and so when he goes out the dog chews on furniture, pulls food off the kitchen counter, tears up towels and cushions, and once, gnawed a table leg so thoroughly the dog needed surgery to remove wooden splinters from his stomach. The man loves his dog too much and does not see that he is cruel, not the crates.

A woman could not bear to see her cat die, and went heavily into debt to pay for a series of kidney and other surgeries that required expensive medications and left her cat in continuous pain and discomfort. He vet begged her to euthanize the cat at one point, and she refused, saying she loved the animal too much to let her go. She ended up owning more than $10,000 to the vet and the cat died a long and painful death during yet another surgery. She loved her cat too much.

I know someone who has pushed people away from her life, avoids intimacy of any kind, cycles through one relationship after another, suffers acute anxiety and depression and emotionalizes her animals as if they were human lovers and mates. It is the animals who comfort her, teach her, sustain her,  save her, who she loves with great passion, who she emotionalizes and anthropomorphizes beyond any scientific or logical reason. She uses animals as a screen to avoid dealing with her own anxieties and difficulties with people and the animal’s are mired in behavioral problems and poorly trained. She loves animals rather than people, they are easier, dependent and can’t talk back. I think she loves animals too much. I believe animals lead us to people, not away from them.

I saw a large and active hunting dog with a badly injured leg who was taken to a no-kill shelter and who spent four years in a crate there before he died of cancer. Confined in a small place in such an unnatural way, the dog became restless, barked obsessively, gained weight and suffered a host of skin problems and infections. He howled for hours at the ceiling, at other dogs. I believe the dog was loved too much.

I could offer 100 examples of how people can love animals too much. It is wonderful to love animals, a gift. I remind myself every day that I owe them thought and consideration and respect as animals, not as empty vessels in which to pour my needs. I am determined not to abuse my love for them. I never tell myself it is impossible to love my animals too much, I know it is possible, I’ve done it many times. Rather, I ask myself how I can love them thoughtfully and well.