Day: November 5, 2013

Tess was Maria’s first sheep, and she was the most affectionate and gentle, I am sorry to see Maria lose one of the sheep she loves, and impressed by her clear-headedness, compassion and strength. Dr. Lauren Marsh of the Granville Large Animal Veterinary Service came bye around 8:30 this morning, examined Tess, tried to drain the gas and fluids in her swollen stomach, and then we discovered massive internal bleeding – a vascular incident, she said – and we all agreed to end Tess’s suffering then and there.

Tess died quickly and quickly, Maria holding her head. We called the Granville service this morning because we wanted to make sure we hadn’t overlooked anything in our treatment of Tess, and should it become necessary, we know that trained vets can euthanize an animal in the quickest and most painless ways, and that is what happened.

Tess came to Bedlam Farm about two years ago, she suffered from footrot there, but was always easy around us and the dogs. Maria often visited with her, talked to her, Tess loved to have her back scratched. We both feel her loss more than most sheep.

We tried draining Tess’s stomach this morning, injecting her with some needles to see if there was a gas or other blockage, and we will never know precisely what called the bleeding and vascular damage, sheep are tough to diagnose and succumb easily to many things. I have seen a number of them die in my time with them. We are getting a breeding ram in a few weeks, and we will have lambs in the Spring.

We appreciated Dr. Marsh’s visit very much, she told us we had covered every base and completely supported the decision to euthanize Tess. Red seemed visibly affected, he stayed close by Tess, and there was the most beautiful scene after Tess’s death when the donkeys came over and circled her body and each one touched their noses to her. Animals sense death, and while I do not see them grieving, it is clear they are aware of it, they seem to seek closure through smell – Red touched the body also.

Another chapter in the beautiful and wondrous sage of our life with animals. It makes sense Tess’s problem was vascular, it could have even been a stroke, although her stomach was badly swollen and distended. I took some photos and will put up an album shortly, I am grateful to be able to record in images the nature of life here, and to share it with you.

I am struck by how much Maria has grown, she comfortably and gracefully combines a strong and very touch character with great mercy, feeling and compassion. I know that Tess is a genuine loss to her, and I also know she will be making quilts and potholders before lunch. The farm is a great teacher, death is as much a part of life as the sun rising, you take one with the other, you must understand both.

A good farm dog does not just herd sheep, he takes responsibility for them and for everything involving their care. Red always enter into the work that needs to be done, not just the work he likes to do. Border collies are so often made crazy by people who over-stimulate and confuse them, but Red understands his purpose in life, it is his gift. He is focused on the stricken Tess now, I am hoping he will pressure her to stand up and he successfully accomplished this this morning, he got her to stand up twice, which is good for her. I have left  him out in the barn with her for now, he will sit with her and do whatever it is a dog like that does.

I know he will not harm her, I trust him totally, I hope he will keep her focused and alert until we figure out the next move.

So here we are again, back in this very real place in the real world of real animals, the other side of the farm fantasy. I’ve had sheep for 15 years, and this is so familiar to me, sheep eat the wrong things, get footrot, bloat, infections, deficiencies. Sick sheep suddenly die, say the vets, and this is true, we got up early to see that Tess is struggling this morning, she is Maria’s favorite ewe, she is gentle and affectionate and has beautiful wool.

Tess is still alive, not doing so well.

We tried a number of things last night, we are trying some more things this morning, we have things to consider, decisions to make. It is, as always, a bad time to deal with this, I have a new book coming out, interviews to do, Maria is swamped with work, we are heading to New York this weekend for my Ted Talk, but a sick animal on a farm is one responsibility, one chore, that cannot really be put off. When is it a good time? If I were a real farmer, Tess would be gone by now, put to rest. You don’t spend a lot of money on a ewe, or on a barn cat.

We got Tess up on her feet this morning, she is weak-kneed, breathing heavily, unresponsive. Her eyes are clear, her head is up, good things.

Today we will decide whether or not we can help Tess to get well or whether we must euthanize her and take her body out into the woods for the coyotes and other animals of the forest. As always I will share the process, but not surrender it to strangers on the Internet who do not know us or Tess and are not here – we are not seeking your advice or paying much attention to it, we will make whatever decisions we make together and in a loving and considered way, I have been here so many times before, I know the possibilities and the options. First, we worry about Tess not suffering, then we see if there are reasonable things we can do.

We will also consider cost, we just spent $1,700 on Minnie’s leg, we cannot and will do that again or come close.

I trust my instincts, they have  have been well tested and honed in my time on my farms – I have probably had dozens of sick sheep in that time –  I told Maria I do not have the sense that Tess’s time has come, only that she isn’t feel well and isn’t getting better. I am hopeful, open, prepared. Maria is very grounded and clear-headed as well, we are together as usual, we will do what we can do, taking into account all of the things that come into a real life with real animals – suffering, perspective, cost, time.

How much money does one spend on a sick ewe?, I know what my farmer friends would say, no more than the cost of a ewe at market, which isn’t much. How much time? When does one call a vet or do what we have done so often, handle it ourselves? When should we be advocates for Tess and end her suffering and pain?

Animals are so different, donkeys are so  hardy, we have never put out an emergency call for a donkey, they take care of themselves, they are near indestructible. Sheep are very different, they are so hard to read and treat. I will let you know what happens, and thanks for you good and warm messages – Tess is special to us – and I will thank you in advance for not telling us what we should do, it is not welcome or helpful.

I do not respect people who diagnose other people’s animals on the Internet – dogs, cats, or sheep. And I do not listen to them. Thanks for letting us work things out in our way, it is a part of who we are, our respect and understanding for one another, our love of animals, our wish to keep that love in healthy perspective.