Day: May 10, 2014

Ma took things to the wire, but she ended up giving birth (sort of) to twins, a boy and a girl, so far they are all doing well. Dr. Lauren Marsh did a wonderful job of treating Ma’s toxemia and dehydration and infection. She recovered quickly, and we tried to induce labor again with steroids.  Ma’s water broke around 3 p.m. – an enormous amount of fluid came out of her –  at 6 p.m. I reached in and found the cervix closed, there was no sign of a birth and she seemed to be drying up.

Ma was restless, lying down, then getting up, there was no visible movement in the uterus, a danger sign after that much time. I called the Granville Vet Emergency Number and talked to Jason Weinstein, he said a labor continuing that long without progress was an emergency – I knew as much – and it was possible the baby was dead, they were on the way but we had to get the baby out ASAP if there was to be any chance. He was, he said, only the way.

Fifteen minutes later, I just couldn’t wait any longer, I was sure when Jason would arrive. I put on a plastic glove and applied some jelly – Ma was struggling and there was absolutely no sign of an active labor. I reached in and felt hooves about five or six inches in. It is very tricky to pull a lamb out, you can easily tear the uterus or do other internal damage, but I thought this was the only chance for Ma or her lamb, so I just pulled as firmly and gently as I could, the lamb came out feet first, covered in fluids and blood.

She dropped the ground and we cleared out the mucus and fluid from her nose and mouth, and she began to twitch and breathe. Then she got to her feet. I heard Jason’s truck pull into the driveway and went out to greet him and show him where we were. As we returned to the barn, we heard Maria shout that hooves were appearing in the uterus and the way seemed clear now and there was no trouble getting the second lamb out – this was a male, very weak at first, unable to stand.

We expressed some colostrum from Ma’s teats and got the milk in a bottle and got it into the lamb, along with a vitamin booster and some nutrition supplement. Jason said we did a great job, there was nothing much for him to do, we thanked him and he left.

Ma gained strength when this enormous load was out of her belly, she is an attentive and diligent mother, she is cleaning both of them off carefully, bonding with both. This was one of the wildest weeks in my lambing experience, I was challenged and tested every bit of the way. I was prepared to euthanize Ma several times to end her suffering, Dr. Marsh gave me good and effective options, and diagnosed and treated her perfectly. She was near death when Dr. Marsh came, and she is herself now, after giving birth.

We all fuss sometimes about vets, the large animal vets are wonderful, caring and helpful and supportive. I am grateful to them.

Jason helped us stabilize Liam after he was bitten and stomped and get Ma’s two lambs up and moving. I was happy to see him arrived, I am just about out of gas this week. But I love it, it is my life, and I did well, I remembered what I needed to remember, and acted when I needed to act. It was wonderful to have Maria by my side, she loves her lambs.

I’m glad I listened to Dr.Marsh, Maria is also, it is so much more gratifying to bring life into the world than take it. We sought to induce labor twice, once unsuccessfully on Wednesday, once again on Friday. I think this one took, Ma was struggling with the pregnancy.

Tomorrow morning, Maria and I are leaving for New York. It’s an important trip for me and frankly, I need Maria to be there if she is comfortable going. Chief Arvol and I are going to attend an animal rights demonstration in Central Park and then go together to the ceremony for the horses. I want to go, I believe a great mistake is being made regarding the horses, a great injustice is being done. Monday, I am meeting with my new editor and publisher. We will be back Tuesday morning. Zelda is the only ewe remaining to give birth.

I’m not worried about her, she can take care of herself. I plan to do some blogging from the city.

 

Ma’s water broke around 3:30, she is in labor but it did not progress. It is likely that the babies are stillborn, thus not struggling to come out. Large animal vet is en route for emergency call, our decision will be whether to remove the babies – if it is certain they are dead – in order to keep Ma alive or to euthanize her. We’ll see what the vet says and we’ll decide. The labor is definitely in trouble.

Ma’s water broke just after 3 p.m., fluid is still coming out, she is now officially in labor. She needs to start making some progress soon, we ought to see hooves beginning to come out, in a few minutes I will reach in to see if the cervix is open or opening. If I don’t see progress in an  hour or two I’ll put in an emergency call to the vet. She is calm and is circling, she hasn’t yet lay down to strain and push.

Liam is exploring every nook and cranny of the farm, I think he’s making his mother a bit nervous. His new thing is rock climbing.

Maria came back from the Gee’s Bend Quilters in Alabama with many gifts, one is a small quilt called “My Way To Go,” by Nancy Pettaway, one of the Gee’s Bend Quilters. As temporary curator of the WIndowsill Gallery At Bedlam Farm – are is where  you want to find it – I suggested hanging this wonderful creation in a living room window, maybe Maria will make some things for the window. It is a great work of art, even in the rain.

Maria and I have been talking a lot about her trip and she was stuck – me too, from listening to her and watching many videos – by the character, creativity and worldview of the Gee’s Bend quilters, all descendants of slaves, all survivors of brutal and difficult things, from racism to poverty to sickness and isolation.

None of them complain, they go to great lengths to say they do not think of themselves as slaves in any way, they are not angry, they do not describe themselves as poor, they do not to on Facebook trawling for sympathy and outrage, or wallow in self-pity or struggle stories, as so many more fortunate people do.

Their suffering became their creativity, literally, they are champions of creativity, carriers of the creative spark, it has sustained and enriched them, as well as everyone else.

I am struck by the degree to which Maria identified with them, felt so at ease among them. Maria is shy and guarded, she was instantly at home with these amazing women, creative peers and sisters.  There is no way for someone like me to truly comprehend the literal nature of slavery, it is almost beyond my imagination, almost too painful to really consider. But Maria’s identification makes sense, in some ways Maria was a slave, a different kind,  in some ways I was also.

There are so many different ways to become a slave. Joseph Campbell wrote that anyone who lives and works only for money has become a slave, and in the Corporate Nation, there are countless slaves withering in the soulness and meaningless service of greed and profit. It is possible to become a slave to health care, to retiring, to fear and manipulation.

I became a slave to fear and delusion, I surrendered my life to it and nearly lost it. I can watch the Gee’s Bend videos all night, they inspire me, they are affirming, these women – my wife as well – speak to the power of creativity and the real meaning of freedom. In every interview, in every song, in one way or another, their work celebrates freedom. They say again and again that they are free to create what they wish to create, no one can tell them what to do.

A life surrendered to the dictates of others, to enriching others while we give up whole pieces of ourselves, this is a kind of slavery the Gee’s Bend Quilters have refused to surrender themselves to ever again.

Slavery can be a state of mind as well as a savage experience. When we give up our own voices, we we stifle our own spirits, when we live out of fear and at the whim and pressures of others, when we give up the idea of creation, when we live only for money and never for love, when we give up on the idea of love,  and imprison the most radiant parts of ourselves, we have become slaves.