Day: December 12, 2014

There is no doubt that Simon changed my life. He opened my heart and soul, jarred me into a true understanding of the power of compassion, and cracked open long buried feelings and emotions. It was a joy to meet him, help him heal and share my life with him. Every morning, his bray, his “call to life,” stirs my own aspirations and gratitude. I want to live too.

The book’s message of compassion and openness has struck a deep chord.

My book tour for “Saving Simon” has also been an exercise in compassion and feelings, it has been unlike any other book tour I have had in my 30 plus years as a book writer.

It has become something magical, something no publisher-organized book tour ever could be: something personal, about community and connection. And about the book’s message of compassion.

My publisher and I have parted company, I’m bolting to Simon & Shuster, so Simon and I have been left pretty much alone with this book, not even one dollar was budgeted for it’s promotion and publicity. This is corporate publishing, I guess, others have it worse than me. It was unnerving at first, but it has become exhilarating and exciting. Life often surprises us, and everything, I think, is a gift in it’s own way.

I’m touring in the Northeast and Midwest in the next few months,   talking at bookstores and libraries. I am gratified that his is a book that people really love, perhaps the most universally loved book I have written. Much of my book tour has centered on my local bookstore, Battenkill Books, a wonderful independent bookstore run by my friend Connie Brooks. She has already sold more than 1,000 books and the orders are coming in fast and furious for Christmas. It is, I think, a great Christmas book. A minister wrote to remind me that Jesus did ride into Jerusalem on a donkey, after all.

Connie Brooks of Battenkill is also selling a new My Reader edition of my second children’s book, “Lenore Finds A Friend,” the story of Lenore’s friendship with the ram Brutus, which thrived despite the outraged efforts of my border collie Rose to stop it. I think this is a great Christmas gift for animal lovers (both them, the second for animal kids and grandkids) and I guess a lot of people think so too, Connie just called and says she has a ton of new orders, can I come in and sign them so she can ship them right out. I’m on the way. She can handle the orders, several more weeks to Christmas plenty of time to order the books and  have them sent anywhere in the world

Connie has only a few of the popular red totebags (Love. Peace. Books) left to give away – she went through hundreds –  and plenty of signed photo Simon postcards. We are also giving away coupons for Fromm dog and cat food (the food my dogs eat) and some potholders, photos and notecards. I will sign and personalize every book purchased from Battenkill, including the Lenore book.

There are three ways to order a book from Battenkill, to support my writing, Simon, and a great independent bookstore. You can order books online, or by callilng the store at 518 677-2515, or by e-mailing the store at [email protected]. We are gathering some signed photo notecards to give away next. There are plenty of postcards left to give away. Thanks for joining in the Orphans book tour, Simon and I belong together.

The good animal trainers are nearly unanimous in understanding that training problems with dogs and other animals are almost always the fault of the humans, although few take much responsibility for it. I have had wonderful luck with training my animals, and have made some dreadful mistakes. I am working hard to remedy some mistakes that I have made with Lenore, my Black Lab, one of the most wonderful, biddable and trainable dogs I have ever known.

There is no excuse for Lenore’s training issues, I messed up in a couple of areas, it is up to me fix it. In the real world of real animals, there are problems and the people who train their dogs well figure it out rather than avoid it or accept. I am human, and humans make a lot more mistakes than animals do, even if we rarely admit to them. It is so much easier to blame the dog. Her problems now are all my fault.

When Lenore came to me, I lived at the first Bedlam Farm, a sprawling, 90 acre farm with a mile-long path through the woods. Lenore has rarely been on a leash in  her life, and although I trained her well in obedience and the elementals of training, I never really taught her how to walk with me or with people.

Our walks were usually along my long path, bounded by brush and trees, and since Lenore has never run off or pursued rabbits too aggressively, I never got around to training her to heel, or to walk close to me. In our new farm, this has become a problem, there is no mile long path in the woods, we walk along winding country roads. There is some traffic, and many dead animal parts and waste on and off the road. Suddenly, walking with Lenore has become a problem. She runs up ahead of us, and veers off constantly into the woods, often finding things that are not good for her – things with worms, parasites and other unhealthy leavings, things that make her sick.

Suddenly, and for the first time in my life with her, I have been yelling at her, and she sometimes responds and sometimes doesn’t – Labs on food are not always responsive. There is a tension in our walks, I don’t like it, neither does Maria.

We talk a lot on our walks and I have not wanted to take the trouble to re-train Lenore. I have been shouting at her and yelling at her, correcting her constantly, behaviors that I dislike in people and in me. I’ve had enough of that, no more of it. That is not how I want my life with Lenore to be, it’s time to fix it.

People will tell you that this is just life with a Lab, they often laugh about it, but I don’t. This is failure of mine, not hers, and I take responsibility for it and am now setting out to  it. I never taught Lenore how to walk alongside me, she learned that walks were foraging opportunities, not something she does with me or Maria.

That is changing. Lenore is going on a leash for most of our walks, I am bring some broken biscuits for reward and reinforcement, introducing a new “stay with me” command similar to a heel command.

I tap my knee and say “stay with me” and as she turns to me, I give her a biscuit and/or praise and reinforce her. I will no longer give her an opportunity to fail and punish her for my negligence and distraction. If I can’t focus on her, I will leave her at  home, but when she is with me and Maria, she will stay by my side. Labs love food, but they also make wonderful seeing eye dogs, hospice dogs and therapy dogs. They can easily be trained to stay with people out of doors or inside. They have been bred to stay with people – hunters and fishermen – and are highly trainable. When training fails, as it has in this case, it is most often the fault of the human.

I need to make it clear to her what I want, give her the opportunity to succeed and not to fail, and make sure to reinforce the behaviors that I want, not the behaviors I don’t. I need to use the communication methods I have learned and am writing about.   A friend recommended a choke collar – zapping her rather than training her. Not my choice of a training method, it’s on me to figure it out, not to shock her into obedience. I am sure there are times when shocking a dog is necessary and appropriate, this isn’t one of them, and surely not with Lenore.

This is what is not acceptable:

– For me to say well she is a Lab, and Labs will be Labs. That’s both lazy and false.

– For me to yell at  her rather than train her.

– For me to simply leash her up rather than figuring out how to get her to walk alongside of me.

– For my walks outdoors, which I love, to become something that is stress or unpleasant. Not good for us, not good for the dog. Walking with a dog out to be calming, spiritual, bonding.

This is a training issue, but also a dignity issue. Lenore has a good life, is healthy, exercised and loved. I have the right to walk with her peacefully and calmly, it is right to expect that of her, it is my job to train her in a positive and clear and consistent way. I am on it.

Maria is working on this also. She grew up in a home with a lot of yelling, and she doesn’t like correcting anybody or anything. So she is walking with Lenore on a leash, and showering her with praise when she turns her head towards Maria or comes up alongside her knee. We had a great experience this morning, Lenore walked alongside of us for about a quarter-of-a mile.

Because of my lack of attention, Lenore got it into her head that walks are about foraging in the woods for food, not about walking with us. That is our challenge, if we stick with it, we can turn this around in a few months. It will require patience, discipline and thoughtfulness. Lenore deserves no less, and so do we.

 

Maria found this old basket chair stripped of it’s weaving, so she dubbed it the string chair and is using hay  bailing wire to rebuild it. It already has a grace and a dignity that I admire and I pulled the chair out of the barn and next to the sheep feeder. I love the way it is taking shape. I appreciate my life with an artist, creativity is as organic to Maria as breathing.