The saga of the controversial Ice Pond in the woods continued this morning as Fate took matters into her own hands and wrote a new chapter in the annals of worry and adventure. Fate’s explorations of the frozen pond, including her skating back and forth on the ice, became a bit controversial on Facebook and other social media in recent weeks, I was yet again accused of being reckless and somewhat oblivious to risk and danger.
People often feel I do not worry enough, an idea that would amuse my therapists.
This business of Fate and the ice triggered yet another discussion on the blog and online about boundaries in the new digital village
Fate, who often surprises us with her energy and spirit, amazed me this morning when she tiptoed onto the pond – just a few inches – and with her paws working furiously, broke up the thinnest sheets of ice, then began pulling them out of the pond one by one, and then eating the ends of the sheets as if they were biscuits or rawhide treats.
It looked like a game, but Fate was quite intense and serious about it, I think it was really work.
This was a new experience for me, I’ve never seen a dog break up ice on a pond and eat the ice. This is what is remarkable about Fate, while people from distant places are worrying about her, she is taking matters into her own hands. She will not let an ice pond discourage or intimidate her or limit her experience, she will find a way to have fun with it, even turn it into an interesting and even joyous experience.
She was very businesslike in her dismantling of the pond, she acted as if she did it every day, and seemed acutely aware of the ice, and where it was solid or not. This is why I always have a camera with me, and is also why I share my life – it is ordinary life that is most telling and worthy of sharing. I got a display of Fate’s intelligence, I was mesmerized watching her feel the ice, study it, and set out to break it up.
She had a plan, and it was a good one. It was also a safe one, she didn’t go out onto the ice at all.
We live in a fearful world, full of alarm and worry, and I always try to walk the difficult like between common sense and freedom. Every time I post a photo of a dog, I am warned about something, often accompanied by horrific tales of suffering and loss.
Fate reminded me yet again not to live in fear or by the warnings and anxieties of other people. For days after I put of photos of Fate on the ice pond (it is about six inches deep) , I was inundated with warnings about dogs falling through the ice, and horror stories about dogs people knew who had drowned that way. It’s a horrible image, a dog drowning under the ice, I understand why it disturbs people.
But I don’t care to live in the fears and warnings of other people. I take very good care of my dogs, and am very conscious of their safety. I have never lost a dog to an accident of any kind. Yet I fully understand that it might happen. It is the price we all pay for living.
Fate is a very curious and remarkable adventurous creature, she runs in the meadows, in the woods. I will always permit her to do that. I can give my dogs full and good and safe lives, but I cannot promise them perfect lives. Dogs in America rarely get to make decisions for themselves, as leashed and protected as they are, I see Fate’s mind grow almost daily, she makes decisions every day, as many working dogs do.
My friends down the road – they are passionate dog lovers – will no longer take their dogs anywhere in the car, they feel traumatized by the secret informers of the animal rights movement, and by people looking for dogs kept in cars while people shop. Sometimes they smash car windows, sometimes they call the police. It’s good to be aware of strong sun and closed automobiles, it’s also a tragedy for dogs that so many now never get to leave their houses, basement and back yards at all.
It is hard for them to be socialized, to share our lives, to be our partners in the world. “We used to take them everywhere,” Joan told me,”now they never go anywhere, it just isn’t worth the risk.”
Riding around with a dog is one of the joys of life. In seeking to give them perfect lives, we seem to often be taking their lives away, shrinking them to the point that they are utterly dependent on us for everything in their lives. Dogs need stimulation, activity, socialization as much as we do, if not more.
A woman in the next down was walking her dogs in the woods recently and a tree blew over in the wind, killing her but sparing her dogs, who heard the tree groaning and skittered out of the way. Is there a lesson in that? Stay out of the woods? Keep your dogs out? Stay in the back yard?
Nobody keeps clear records about it, but I believe it is quite rare for a dog to drown by falling through the ice. It is rare for a dog to be stolen. It is rare for a dog to die in a heated car? It is rare for a dog to die from eating commercial dog food. It is rare for a dog to actually be abused, say authorities everywhere, even though it is quite common for people with dogs to believe they are abused.
There are more than 75 million owned dogs in the United States now, there is no evidence life is becoming more dangerous for them. Like us, they are living longer (sometimes too long), eating better, costing more, getting better care. That is not the way most dogs lovers feel about it, the number of things that might harm them seems to grow hourly. And Facebook is a great gift to the fearful, it is not only possible to spread alarm and judgment, it is often the point.
We cannot guarantee our dogs perfect lives any more than we can guarantee that for ourselves. I am happy to give Fate the lives she deserves, within the care and reason that only Maria and I can provide.
It isn’t that the fears of others are necessary unjustified, or that mine are not big enough. I don’t tell other people what to do. I have never sent a message to anyone warning them about the things they are doing with their dogs.
Rather, it is that we each have the right to decide for ourselves what is just and reasonable, it is really not the business of anyone else. The person I have to answer to is me, I am the person I have to love, not hate, when I look I the mirror. That is the standard of good and moral behavior. I love my ice-breaking dog.
Something in us needs to feel our animals are in perpetual danger, it makes us feel more secure about living them, perhaps makes us feel better for caring about them. Facebook is an incubator of alarm, you will never see a posting there about how safe and content and healthy most American dogs are. In an increasingly fearful world, I choose to live in the reality of my own world, to make my own decisions, to share my experiences, but not give them over to those who live in continuous worry and alarm.
Fate is a powerful dog in ways I am just beginning to understand. It was amazing to see her stare at the ice, break it up with her paws, pull large chunks out of the water, sit and down and chew on them for amusement and perhaps refreshment. I am glad she got to go on the ice, to skate there, to be the ice-breaker.