We had to cut down a broken and low-hanging branch from the apple tree Sunday, the pony and donkeys were not interested in it, but we threw it over the pasture fence and it was a great among the sheep. We very rarely have to throw anything edible away around here, if the chickens don’t want it the donkeys or the sheep or the horse will.
The sheep swarmed over this branch like a bunch of locusts, it was stripped bare this morning, they are now working on the bark. We are wasting less and less here, simplifying, tidying up, organizing, thinking about what we are using and needing. For most of my life, I would have just thrown the branch into the woods. We always think about sharing wast here.
There are few things on the earth more focused than a border collie at a pasture gate reporting for work and waiting for the too-slow human to open the gate. Fate may not wish to herd the sheep, but she very much loves to be with them, sit with them, and run around them. Fate does love to herd sheep, although he is quieter and less explosive than his buddy. Together, the two make quite a team.
I got this shot this morning as the two of them waited very eagerly for me to open the pasture gate. Neither one was moving an inch, a portrait of excitement and very intense concentration.
I walked in the woods this morning, listened to the great silence, a symphony of its own. I heard a voice, perhaps it was the spirit of a tree asking me, “So where are you going today?” The question startled me, I couldn’t answer but when I saw this photo of these flowers, it came to me. Little by little, I am going somewhere, I am putting together the life I want to live, the person I want to be.
I am not there yet, I mumbled, but that’s where I’m going.
Small steps, little by little. That was my answer.
My morning reading this morning was from the Kabbalah, which I read every morning. There, I find a God I can worship.
The quality of humility, said the prophets, includes all qualities.
The earth nourishes everything, from the horned buffalo to gnats, it disdains no creature. For if all creatures were not seen and created as equals, they could not endure, even for a moment. Rather, God gazes and emanates compassion upon them all. So should you be good to all creatures, disdaining none. Even the most insignificant creature should assume importance in your eyes…Do good to whomever needs your goodness.”
This, I think, is not the person I am, but the person I hope one day to be. I am a human being, and we are profoundly flawed. Is that the quality of humility? Knowing how damaged we are, how far we have to go to be better? To me, this was the very idea of God, a force in life that called on us to be better, who did not accept that we had to remain the same.
In this time of discord, the prophets message seemed relevant: “Your ears should always be tuned to hear the good, while rumors and gossip should never be let in, that is the secret of sublime listening. There, no harsh shouting enters, no tongue of evil leaves a blemish. So listen only to positive, useful things, not to things that provoke anger. When you see a poor person suffering, do not close your eyes in the slightest. On the contrary, keep him in mind as much as you can; arouse compassion for him, from God, and from people.”
The prophets added: “Your face should always be shining. Welcome each person with a friendly countenance…In the light of the king’s face is life. No redness or harsh judgment gains entrance there.”
This is a mantra for me, a prayer. It is all right to accept who I am, it is a glorious gift to know I can be better. In a way, it is the point of everything.
We all face this great duality of life. We are who we are, and who we wish to be. The spiritual life comes not from perfection or saintliness, it comes from the small steps we take, little by little, to be better than we are. No other creature on the earth can do this.
I think I fail when I stop trying, not when I stop being perfect. That will never happen. It’s the journey.
These flowers almost seemed to me to be swimming, they are going somewhere. So am I, that is the answer.
The weather media has a new scare story out, they’re calling it a Heat Dome and warning that it is deadly and coming in a few days and will bring the kind of heat that causes stroke, heart attack, collapse and death.
Soon I’ll be getting one of those texts or e-mails warning people like me to stay indoors for a week or so. I keep turning off notifications, they keep coming, like zombies from another world.
In the world of warnings, alarms are money, it is almost impossible to escape them. Lots of people profit from them. I often wonder what the impact on people is to be reminded every minute of the bad things that can happen in the world and to be warned about life continuously.
It will be hot this week, but it is also the middle of July, and even the weather hysterics say records will not be broken and the “dome” will not last that long? As a former media critic, I understand some of the context for so many of these warnings – the conventions will be dangerous, the country is falling apart.
Bad and frightening news is addictive to people, according to market research, warnings make a lot of money for weather and cable news channels, and bring money, votes and power to exploitive politicians. And I am not persuaded that more people are dying from the heat these days in America than used to die from the heat in America. I think not.
But you will not see that story on the Weather Channel, nobody would pay to get text alerts saying things are better, and no advertiser would sponsor good news. Nobody calls up their relatives to say living in heat waves is easier than it used to be. They’d rather say the Heat Dome is coming! Extreme Weather!
The outrage addicts and political hysterics have seized our public spaces and driven sane and rational people into hiding. If you are a thoughtful person, you probably hide our feelings and beliefs.
I am no ostrich, my eyes are open to the challenges of these times, but I also love history, and I know that people have faced much worse many times. I don’t believe our way of life is coming to an end, not soon.
I don’t want my head to be filled with continuous warnings as I live my life. There is a difference between being alert and knowing and being phobic and terrified. On social media, that distinction is often blurred.
I don’t think I can remember a day when someone on Facebook has not warned me about my animals, my life, my food, medicines or insect sprays. Why have warnings become the currency of our dialogue with one another.
I expect when I put up a photo of a tired or hot working dog to be warned about heat stroke, collapse, hot cars, brain damage.
It is sort of like background noise for me now.
Border collies run hard in the heat, so we keep tubs of water around for them to jump into and cool off ub. Fate loves her pool, Red doesn’t seem to need it. I’ve had border collies for many years and many summers, heat hasn’t gotten one of them yet.
My concern about summer and dogs begins and ends with the pool. I really don’t think much about it. If they have someplace to cool off and are not run forever in the hot sun, they will be fine. If they were out in the sun for long stretches over vast spaces, I would think more about it and probably keep the sheep in during the hottest weather.
I embrace the notion of climate change – you can see it on a farm every day – and I understand that some people need to be cautious about the heat. But we live in a world of warnings now, I can’t post a photo of a dog or cat or horse or donkey or sheep without getting warnings from somebody about disease, vets, dangerous weeds or some other threat.
I hope everyone stays comfortable this week and takes care of themselves. More and more, I embrace the Church Of Minding My Own Business. I am empathetic, but also bounded. I cannot take responsibility for the choices of other people.
To me, there is a difference between scaring people and actually helping them.
I check in on an elderly neighbor once in awhile to make sure she is okay. A small act of kindness. But I will not stay indoors all week or stop living my life, loving my wife, doing my chores, shopping for food and moving the sheep. Perhaps the Weather Channel will one day take some of their very large profits and buy window air conditioners for poor and elderly people in sweltering tenements and apartments.
I remember a farmer telling me a few years ago that he didn’t know winter was dangerous until his wife bought a TV set. I didn’t know that summer could be so dangerous until corporate media too over forecasting from the government.
Perhaps these channels will one day teach us about climate change rather than showing us how to fear our planet.
Drought, flooding, wildfires, tornadoes are all too real, even if our Congress will not provide money to study their effects.
I choose to be mindful, to live in a state of thoughtfulness and awareness, but not in a state of perpetual warning. I just don’t care to live that way. It seems hypocritical and exploitive to me.
This will be a busy week for us. We are probably getting another Romney rescue ewe tomorrow – a white one. We skirted Izzy’s wool on Sunday and it is beautiful, we’re sending it off to the Vermont Knitting Mill to join the other wool we brought a week ago.
And the Heat Dome has spurred me to try to get a shearer here soon, it is painful to see an unshorn sheep in a heat wave. I’m not ready to call the dog days of summer a dome.
