Day: November 13, 2017

I was surprised when I wrote a few weeks ago that Maria and I were talking about living in New Mexico, a number of people were upset – more than I might have thought, I tend to think of myself as being generally friendless, with one or two exceptions.

It didn’t occur to me that anyone would be especially upset if I moved away. I have become more independent and comfortable in solitude than I was before, I tend to be disappointed in friendships with me, they don’t seem to last very long or be especially deep. I guess I have generally given up on them.

But a lot of people said they were upset, and so I wanted to share where we are with our New Mexico reveries. We did love it there. We also love it here, and we aren’t unhappy or restless or need enough to want to tear up our lives and move. Our creativity thrives here, and that is a big deal.

We worked hard and sacrificed much to get where we are, and I have learned again and again in life that if you are not happy where you are, you are not going to be magically happy somewhere else.

I always took myself along, and that was always the problem.

I’m making my stand here, and I am happy and fulfilled. So is Maria. There are a lot of things I could hardly bear to leave up here – people, the farm, the Mansion residents, the refugee kids and adults, and yes, even the winters, they focus my character and commitment. Our animals are very happy here.

But it occurred to me – and Maria agrees – that we don’t have to be all one thing or the other. We can keep our lives and work here and still make New Mexico a part of our lives, and a source of our creativity.

If we plan ahead, there are very cheap flights – some as low as $350 from here to there, we saw some lovely inexpensive apartments and homes for rent online, we have never used AirBnb before, we can rent a lovely house for $95 a week just where we would like to be.

So if we start saving up and plan carefully, we can get back there for a week or two every year, or most years. It is something we can do if we truly wish to do it, and I think we do. I can blog from anywhere, and Maria is deeply connected to New Mexico. She needs to keep it in her life.

I call this the Third Way. We don’t have to uproot ourselves and leave our animals, friends and community. We have excellent pet and farm sitters, and we have become skilled at planning ahead financially, so we could save some money monthly and keep New Mexico in our lives. A surprising but lovely idea.

I also proposed that once in a while Maria, go there by herself for a few weeks or a month, perhaps to study weaving or another creative journey – like the trips to Gee’s Bend or India. That would be even more affordable and we have always supported the creative freedom of one another (as long as she doesn’t move away and buy a farm like I did.).

We can’t have everything we want, but we can have enough of what we want to be happy and challenged. So that’s where we are with New Mexico, we are thinking about going there for five or six days in March or April, and perhaps make that an annual vacation. Still just an idea, but one we like. We waited to see if the pull of New Mexico faded, and it didn’t. But neither did our love for Bedlam Farm and our village.

It is good to know we live it here too much to move away. And also good to New that the inspiration and connection we both felt in New Mexico does not have to vanish from our lives.

I am learning to be flexible and creative in this way. It is new for me.

Donkeys see and hear everything, and Lulu and Fanny, sisters who have been together all of their lives, are tuned into every sound and movement on the farm. They hear us (and bray) when we talk in our bedroom and put our boots and jackets on.

Their tall ears are like powerful radar systems. This morning, out in the pasture, I saw their heads  swivel, and about 30 seconds later, Maria came out of the back door. They miss nothing.

Red takes his sheepherding very, very, seriously and cannot be bribed with treats or distracted while working. Gus, on the other hand, takes nothing too seriously and has concluded that herding sheep is just another game for him to play.

I can tell you there are many border collies who would not take kindly to having a Boston Terrier stand on his head while working. Gus believes the earth is a kingdom, and he is the King. He seems to be af raid of nothing.

This morning, while Red was giving the sheep the eye, Gus simply stood up, put his paws on Red’s head, and waited for further action. Red did not move. Eventually, and in his own good time, Gus hopped off.

Yesterday, he wasn’t paying attention and the sheep ran right over him, rolling him like a bowling ball. He got up, shook himself off and started eating disgusting things.

I think Red might be a saint, after all, he has infinite patience and grace, he simply does his work and screens out the distractions of life, including an impertinent and intrusive Boston Terrier.

We are in the midst of a long and peaceful period with our sheep, they are fat and happy and producing gorgeous wool for Maria, and keep Red and Fate busy working with them. We will not lamb again anytime soon, or maybe not at all.It was hard, draining and difficult work.

We lost several lambs last time, and I’m not sure we have the heart to try it again. The last time, we had all kinds of trouble.

But the past year or so has been peaceful, the sheep are a  beautiful and pastoral presence on the farm, we value them. We have 10 ewes and two wethers, and they are a perfect fit for Bedlam Farm, we have plenty of grass in the summer, lots of hay in the winter.

Red and Fate and I work with the sheep every day except in raging blizzards.

This morning I asked Maria if I could purchase her latest hanging piece, “Plaza Blanca,” but she said no, as she usually does when I want to pay for her art. She said she would give it me, but not sell it to me. I told her that I would prefer that she put it up for sale, then, she deserves to get paid for her work.

So it is up for sale.

It is a special piece for both of us, it was inspired by our visit to the White Place, the hauntingly beautiful white limestone cliffs of Abiquiu, which the artist Georgia O’Keefe made so famous with her paintings. The cliffs inspired much of her later work.

Maria said she had to create her own vision of these cliffs and she did so in the most beautiful way, using some vintage lace cloth given her by an artist in Chimayo, New Mexico, on our recent trip there.

I have never seen anything like this space, so silent, timeless, evocative. And pristine, people have so much respect for it there is no litter of any kind. I think it’s a holy space.

Several people tried to buy them a week or so ago, but for various reasons, could not. We were glad to have this work hang around for awhile, but now it’s up for sale again, for $350 plus shipping. You can contact Maria about it if you wish, [email protected].

It ought to go out into the world, we have little space on our walls.

We were deeply affected by the white cliffs, so much so we plan a short trip back to New Mexico in the spring. We are not going to disconnect from that place, we want to make it a part of our lives. It is a place of the heart for us.