Day: February 14, 2018

Wayne was very appreciative of the lollipop sent him by the Army Of Good. He said he will save it for dessert tonight.

The Army of Good outdid itself today at the Mansion, where there was a boisterous 90 minute Valentine’s Day celebration enhanced by beautiful chocolate flowers, gift bags, banners, cookies, cards and magical creations.

The party was the warmest and most emotional I’ve seen at the Mansion, and thanks to you all, everyone had a letter or a gift or red rose with chocolate inside. The cookies were beautiful and much loved. So were the cards and photos.

(I’m thinking Easter.) I’ve never seen the Mansion residents so animated and enthusiastic, I could see the day was meaningful to them, they thought about love and the bittersweet experience of lost love. At lunch, I read a Valentine’ Day poem, and also told the story of St. Valentine, who was executed for carrying out Christian marriage in ancient Rome.

He is said to have cured a young child of blindness and he wrote her encouraging letters on a leaf, thus the tradition of Valentine’s Day cards.

I’ll put up a bunch of photos, I had a great time there, the feeling in the room was infectious. Barb loved her rose and was happy to pose for me as were a number of the residents. I’m doing a photo album here and on Facebook. Thanks so much for your generosity, you have no idea how happy and connected you made these people feel.

It seems that Red, the soul of patience and acceptance, and Summer, the stray cat we helped rescue and spay this summer, have bonded. This couch in the Mansion great room has a rich history. They used to call it the Victorian Fainting Couch, and it was made so that women could have a place to swoon and faint when they were upset or had what people then called the “vapors.”

During the Valentine’s Day celebration today, Red looked for a place to lie down, Summer was there first, but she was happy to share the space with him.

The history of women is quite remarkable.Summer, the Mansion cat, has made the fainting couch her day time headquarters, she is fat and happy and easy-going. She was wary of Red for a week or two, and then saw right through him and the two of them often  hang out together during parties or celebrations.

I loved this scene of the two of them, several of the residents asked me if I could print out some copies for them. They thought it was just adorable that their two favorite animals had come to bond with one another. Red never causes trouble of any kind, he has an almost psychic sense of what he is supposed to be doing.

Today, right after the Mansion’s Valentine’s Day lunch and before the Valentine’s Day mega-party, Joan and I had our third experience reading together as she works to rediscover some of her memory.

I was working with the Read-Aloud Word Games from reading2connect, a pioneering publishing company whose books do not treat the elderly as children, or helpless beings,  but as prideful adults struggling with memory and eager to keep reading in their lives, or perhaps bring it back.

The Mansion is a Medicaid Elder Care Facility with severely limited financial and staffing options, they struggle mightily to both entertain and stimulate their residents.

Susan Ostrowski and Dr. Peter Dixon at reading2connect believe their books can help revive memory and voice, and inspire elderly people towards reading on their own and with one another.

I have purchased a dozen or so of their books, and it has been an exciting and transformative experience for Joan and for me. I asked Joan to work with me because she has experienced memory loss.  They have been good enough to send me some books without charge.

i don’t wish to overstate things, there is no known cure for memory loss and I do not work in miracles or grandiose ideas, as a volunteer, I simply try to fill the holes in the lives of the Mansion residents, many of who feel abandoned by the rest of society. They are correct.

I believe in the small things – getting bras and new underwear, sweaters and jackets, winter caps and scarves, books and carpets, air conditioners and fans, raising funds for parties, special lunches and outings. I work with a group of angels from all over the country, we call ourselves the Army Of Good, and we try to do good rather than argue about what good is.

We are skilled at keeping people alive beyond cost or reason, but shameful at considering how they will live fulfilling lives when many have lost everything they ever loved in life. It is very easy to become sluggish and disoriented in even the best elder care facilities, there is often little to stimulate their minds and curiosity.

They can begin to lose interest in the world, and drift towards the TV, which is on in many rooms all day.

They  believe the world no longer cares about them. They rarely see anyone aside from the staff who is not their age.

When I began working with Joan a little more than a week ago, we started using a workshop book called “Read-Aloud,” read the first worst of a phrase like “Practice Makes ____” and I’d wait for Joan (or a couple of other residents) to finish the phrase – “Perfect.”

Joan was confused and disoriented at first. She struggled to finish most of the phrases, I wasn’t sure if she grasped what we were doing. Today, she seemed almost a different person to me. She was eager to do the reading exercise, she knew instantly what I was talking about, she sat down in the same seat we  used for our first work together.

She got every phrase question right but one (I got two wrong.) One question was  a trivia question: “God created the world in how many days?” She paused a bit on the answer – here I need to be more patient – and i prompted her by answering “seven days?”

She started to say six, but was led astray by my prompt. She was right. God created the earth in six days, and rested on the seventh. My feeling is I have to convey faith in her for her to have faith in herself, it has been a long time since she has been asked to revive her memory, I think.

We have established a strong bond, she trusts me and I trust her. We have faith in one another I think, that chemistry matters.

There was an enormous difference in Joan’s demeanor. She was eager, excited, proud. She had give up herself on her ability to remember things, but when she sat down yesterday, she was confident and proud of herself. Her eagerness showed through. This was fun, and satisfying. Some days, Joan recognizes me but does not remember who I am. Today, she asked if I could come tomorrow and do some more reading.

I asked Joan if she would agree to play a leading role in one of the four skits we are performing at the Mansion in April. She said yes, if I would be there to read it with her, her eyes are poor, she said. So we’re doing it together.

I have no idea how far this can go, if anywhere. We are at a pretty amazing place right now, and I hope this will always feel successful for her, a triumph, because it is.

Come and see. Tomorrow, we are have a first rehearsal for our “Night Of Four Skits.” I’ve lined up the cast – Peggie, Joan, Madeline, Sylvie and Allan.