Search Results for: bingo night at the mansion

Maria and I have been calling the Friday night Bingo games at the Mansion for almost two years now; tonight, we were greeted by a rousing welcome, cheers, and applause for the first time.

These games mean a lot to the residents and me, as well.

Every time I see them, they ask me if we’re going to show up. When I have the money, I go and buy some inexpensive prizes – stuffed animals, jewelry, books, puzzles, reading lights.

The Mansion also has a prize cart, where small gifts like playing cards or beads or little presents are stored.

It’s almost a stereotype, Bingo and the elderly, I think of Bingo as the National Sport of Assisted Care. When Maria is calling (we take turns), I like to watch the residents and try to figure out why Bingo means so much to them.

Some of it I can see. Bingo is a socializing game, one of the few times in a week where the residents gather together for play that not structured or supervised. Sometimes they sit with their friends, sometimes they mix. I sense the residents are often lonely, even in a crowd of people. They want and need to socialize with one another at times.

Bingo is a safe and accessible way to do that.

I noticed the residents take care of one another, helping each other to spot numbers that are called, even reading out the numbers for others when they have a Bingo.

In the context of assisted care, Bingo is stimulating. It is said to increase mental flexibility, alertness, and concentration. At a time of life characterized by loss, there some chances to win.

It’s an inclusive game; everyone is invited, I see all kinds of people there I typically rarely see, people who stay in their rooms or read off in a corner by themselves, people with sharp memories and people with little mind.

It is part of human nature to be competitive, and there is mostly a healthy competition, something rare for the elderly. There is also the element of luck and suspense. Some of the people win every time; some win once or twice in months. I see that the desire to win is intense.

Then there are the prizes. There is a winner in every game. People of all ages like prizes, they like to win and have something to show for it.

I handed out a sackful of classy old jewelry someone sent me for the residents; they loved putting the bracelets on their wrists and the pins on their blouses.

The shrinks say Bingo promotes socialization, gets people together and thinking and laughing and out of their rooms. It is believed to increase mental flexibility and alertness and also exercise hand-eye coordination.

I sense there is a lot of healing the Bingo games, and also a lot of laughter. I hear a lot of jokes and kidding; I see them making connections with one another.

People seem genuinely happy when somebody wins a game; there is loud and enthusiastic applause. People help people with hearing or sight problems; they watch their cards and let them know when they have a number that has been called.

Sometimes, the desire to win is too much. There has been some cheating, and we deal with those privately after the game is over. I only had to ask one resident to leave, he was memorizing the called numbers and pretending to have them.

I don’t look the other way about cheating, that would be patronizing and demoralizing to the other players.

At the end of the Bingo game, everyone comes up to thank Maria and me; they gather around to study our prizes or those in the prize cart.

They line up  me to tell me what they need: Georgianna and Nancy need jeans, Peggie needs a winter jacket, somebody else needs a sweater, everybody needs warm socks,  Sylvie wants to know if I read her last letter and what to make of it.

Somehow, Sylvie knows that Fate was injured; she asks me to give Fate her live. Sylvie doesn’t like to touch dogs because they remind her of the dog who disappeared during her life in Austria after World War II.

But she loves dogs. “Please give her my love,” she said, “I feel that will matter to her.” So we did.

(I just bought some “Bishop Maginn Mural Mob” hats for the BM mural makers. If you wish to support my work at the Mansion and with refugee children, you can contribute via Paypal, [email protected] or by check, Jon Katz, Mansion/Refugee Fund, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.)

Today was Laura’s first day at the Mansion, she was bewildered, crying and afraid, as most people are when they first arrive and their families are gone.

(photo, from left: Nancy, Laura, Georgianna).

But today was different.

Today, I witnessed one of the most beautiful things I’ve yet seen at the Mansion, Georgianna and Nancy knew how Laura felt, they stepped out of themselves and took her under their wing.

Talk about angels.

They sat with her in the dining room, talked to her about the Mansion’s secrets, insisted she come out and sit with them in the Secret Garden (Bert is back at the Mansion, but recovering from her hospital stay), smoke if she wished, have some soda if she liked.

They even shared their precious chocolate bars with her.

I came to the Secret Garden mid-morning to drop off materials for the Break Room.

I met Laura, introduced my self. “Oh,” she said, “Georgianna has told me about you. You’re the nice man…” I blushed. ‘Isn’t he cute?” Georgianna said with her wicked smile.

Laura was with these two all day, every minute.

They included her in everything they were doing, gave her a tour of the Mansion and one of the muffins I brought, talked about how much fun it would be once she settled down. Life can be hard here, I heard Georgianna say, but it can also be fun and safe.

They didn’t sugar coat life, they are not Pollyannas. They’ve both known some very hard times.

They told her they knew how frightening and lonely the First Day was, they would be her friends, they would stay with her and get her over the hump.  They didn’t try to cheer her up, they just tried to let her know she wasn’t alone.

She had a new community, even when she thought community was lost to her.

Through the day, Laura visibly brightened. I saw her tears try and I saw the first flashes of her shy smile. We all got her to laugh. She loved Fate.

I figured out some things she needed and wanted – new people are always wary of asking for things. I invited her to Bingo. She said she had never played Bingo, probably wouldn’t go tonight.

“You will go tonight, sweetie,” Georgianna assured her. Nancy agreed. Laura knew she was beaten.

All during the game, Georgianna sat next to Laura, showing her how to play the game, how to slide the red number covers, how to pay attention to the caller.

She egged her on, assured her she would win a game. And she did.

Laura won one game early one, and I gave her an angel bracelet and some carved stone animals as a prize, which she loved. When she won, Georgianna and Nancy each cheered and hugged her.

When I left, the three of them were sitting in the Great Room watching a Godfather Movie DVD I had given them last week on the big TV bought by the Army Of Good.

And eating the Nestle chocolate bars I’d brought as a snack.

Laura was wearing her angel bracelet. She was holding the little dog.

She looked at peace at that moment sitting on the sofa close to her new friends, her new family.

I know she has some hard days ahead of her, I also know she will be in good hands. Those two are truly generous, they have big hearts. it is a pleasure to help them get what they need.

They will take good care of her.

Compassion can blossom anywhere, I think. Life is a garden, in a way.

Georgianna, Bert, and Nancy are good friends, they care about each other, defend each other, protect each other and watch over each other. Laura is in the club. The Secret Garden has a new member now.

She is our friend, Nancy told me. Get her some warm socks, please.

(I ordered a winter coat for Nancy tonight, and a wool hat. I’m weary of seeing her shiver out there. These things will arrive on Monday.)

This was one of the most generous and compassion things I had yet seen there, I love those two women and their selflessness. No matter how hard their lives can be, they always think of the other.

Almost everyone at the Mansion, residents, and staff, remembers the first day there. The residents all say it was one of the most frightening, disorienting and painful days of their lives.

It brings me low just to think about it, and there is not much anyone can really do to ease the brutal transition from one part of life to another.

Or so I thought until today.

Georgiann and Nancy did ease Laura’s first day, she trusts her new friends and told me she feels safe just knowing them. She looked right at home in the Secret Garden.

“They have been so nice to me,” she said, filled with gratitude.

I heard them talking earnestly and honestly to one another out there in the cold. How nice, I thought. Just one day, Laura already has someone to talk to, eat with, sit outside with, watch movies with.

Georgianna told me she is taking all of her friends out to lunch at the Round House Cafe with the $75 gift certificate I gave her for her birthday. “I want them all to get a special meal,” she said.

People want their older friends and parents to be happy, but it is not a happy thing to leave everything you love behind and to know your next move in life will be to a nursing home, and soon thereafter, death.

Lots of people come to love the Mansion, it becomes their home. But it is wrenching to see people just after they leave their homes, pets, lives, friends, and way of life behind them, and for good.

But usually, there is not much that can be done. People just have to get used to it, they have to get through the homesickness and the loss.

Most do.

Today spoke to me of the wonder of true humanity, it blossoms anywhere, all it takes is a big heart and generous soul. We all have to keep the flame burning, it is our sacred task.

Fate made her maiden appearance at Bingo as a Therapy-Dog-In-Training and was stellar. She worked the room and greeted every single Bingo player, she jumped up a little once, then settled down.

Maria was astonished at how calm and responsive she was, and I’m going to bring Maria to the next training session, I think she will love knowing how to do this work with Fate. I’ll give her a few training tips.

Maria has worked well and closely with Fate, who is primarily her dog.

Fate was more restless than Red but productive. She gave every person in the room a chance to pet her, and if they weren’t interested, she seemed to sense it and walk away. She loves people,  her tail was going half the night and the Mansion aides are all over her.

Fate shows a lot of emotion, and the residents show a lot of emotion in return. She seems to love doing this work, she seems to recognize it as work.

I’ve already trained Fate to respond to my hand signals, and that proved beneficial in this work. I could point to a resident and she would follow my eyes and go up to them. She maintains close eye contact for long periods, knows who wants to see her and who doesn’t, over the hour of the game, she calmed down markedly.

I brought two rawhide chew bones for her and gave one to her every 20 minutes or so. This also calmed her down. I praised her for recognizing the people at work,  and she seemed quite proud of herself.

This is a dog who really loves to work, she paid close attention to me and was mostly completely obedient. She only blew me off for a few seconds one time because someone had dropped food on the floor.

This was a big test for Fate – Maria and I were both busy, she was in a small and crowded room for an hour. She didn’t try to get out and wander and greeted people calmly and appropriately, often sitting down next to them as they played Bingo and leaned over to pet her with one hand.

I am surprised and delighted at how natural this work is to Fate. Two months of training should be plenty.

Note: Bingo is the place where the residents will come if they need help. The residents don’t ask me for much, and if the request isn’t wise or appropriate, I say so. Most of the time it is something valid that they need. Peggie asked me if I could get her a pair of bedroom slippers (they have to have backs so the residents can’t slip out of them.

This should be a new item, I believe, it’s on the way.  Tim asked me for help in getting a new wristwatch. His is broken, and he can’t find one he likes in the local stores. It’s on the way.

Peggie came up to me just before Bingo tonight she said she had a surprise for me, and I was surprised. It was a hard clay model of Red that she made during one of Maria’s art classes.

She wanted me to have it. I’m going to keep it in my study. I was missing Red today, his absence is keenly felt at the Mansion. Madeline came up to me in the hallway and asked where my beautiful dog was. She never did quite get to remember his name.

Red’s spirit is very much alive in the Mansion, the residents have not forgotten.

Friday night Bingo was quiet, it had its own patterns and rhythms. Wayne joked that I’d have to talk home if I didn’t call out some lucker numbers for him. Ellen gave me the evil eye until she won her first Bingo game in weeks.

Georgianna showed me her two cigarette packs, which had only two cigarettes in them. She looked at me pleadingly, I said no, people didn’t send me money to buy cigarettes for people, not on a regular basis.

She won a small stuffed animal, which she said she loved. She was wearing one of the new shirts I got for her at Carroll’s Trading Post, a consignment shop.

Mary was the Bingo Queen tonight, I gave her a nap blanket that Kayla Carroll knits, she works at Carroll’s. I think these lap blankets will make perfect gifts for the residents as the cold weather approaches, I plan on getting more.

I gave Ruth a special-sized sweatshirt for her birthday, which she requested. A Mansion aide asked me if I could find an old table for her daughter’s TV, her daughter has to watch hers on the floor.  I was surprised by the request, the Mansion aides rarely ask me for anything, it must be important to her.

I found her one right away. In my work, I have learned that the aides are often just as needy as the residents, just in different ways. Nobody as the Mansion has any extra money to spare.

The Bingo games are important to me, they keep me in touch with the residents and the aides.