On my walk down 7th Avenue In Park Slope yesterday, I passed this spectacular building and entranceway I could hardly believe this was a building built in 1902 as a high school, and remains a school today – the John Jay High School for Law, Journalism and Research.
I was in awe of a culture that could such a beautiful thing and go to the time and trouble to commission such a beautiful and imposing entrance. It tells us what New York City and America though of itself, what it’s priorities were, how art and culture were so important, even over the door of what was then a vocational high school.
In our time, we seem to be dominated by money grubbers, worried only about the cost of things, I can’t imagine any town voting to spend the money to carve out this inspiring entrance. Made me happy to see it, made me sad also. We seem to think so little of ourselves sometimes.
How ambitious New York City was, how proud of it’s immigrants, how serious it’s determination to educate everyone, even the poor immigrants of Brooklyn then.
There is something special, a kind of feeling, that is unique to a mother and a child, especially a new born child, they know one another in a way that no one else will ever know either one of them. Today, Emma was holding Robin and I tried to capture that feeling.
Wednesday, I got up at 6 a.m. and headed out to walk around Park Slope, Brooklyn, with my monochrome camera, I walked for hours and took some photos I will share over the next few days. I love doing this so much. I passed by a hat story as it opened around 9 a.m. and I saw this beautiful and quite blue hat, it was on sale for 50 per cent off, and I just loved it, I thought it was me. It had style and character.
Maria wants to take a photo or video of it tomorrow and put it up on her blog, okay by me. This had and I will get to know one another well, I think, it is time I came to terms with my rumpled, idiosyncratic self. This hat will help me to do that.
My daughter Emma doesn’t take too many photos, but the makes them count, she has an intuitive feel for emotion and meaning. Yesterday, I went To Brooklyn to help Emma out and be with her, she is a bit overwhelmed at this new and endless responsibility, as well as the joy and love and awe. A lot to absorb, life changes completely when a newborn child comes.
I realized that the most help I could be is to simply be there, to let her know I care, to give her someone to talk to while she manages the endless details of a new life. I did some shopping, got her out to lunch, went for walks. Mostly, I just tried to be present, change some diapers, wash some dishes, be as calming a presence as I could be.
At times in recent years, I have felt distant from Emma, the divorce was hard on both of us, she lives hundreds of miles away, and lives a very different kind of life. This was difficult for me, we were always so close when she was young.
But all that seems to have vanished since Robin came, we are very much in sync, I feel very close to her, we spent hours talking and listening to one another. Robin has brought us back together, and that is great in and of itself. It isn’t that I am doing or saying anything remarkable, but I am there, which has meaning.
And we want the same thing – for me to be involved in Robin’s life and to know her. She wants Maria to be a part of it also, if she wants to be, and I believe she does. We are both working to overcome the natural and man-made obstacles to this and she told me as I was leaving, Emma said “three visits in a few weeks (I’m coming for a day next week), that’s a pretty good start.” And she gave me a knowing smile.
For me, this is as much about me and Emma as it is about Robin, and I see we are both committed to doing what we need to do make this a continuing part of our lives. She knows it is not a simple thing for me to get down to Brooklyn, she wants to bring her to the farm also.
Emma say she can’t wait to bring Robin up and introduce her to a donkey…Hmmmm.
I feel my life is falling into place in important ways.
This moment above, which Emma photographed with her Iphone, was important. It was the moment I will remember about this visit.
Robin was fussing in her crib a bit, and Emma was wondering if she was okay. Did she need a diaper change, burping, a rash, her pacifier, more milk?
I got up, picked her up, and i had this idea that she needed to see something of the world. It was a sudden impulse, but I felt it strongly.
I took her on a tour of the kitchen, shaking spice jars (peppercorn was a big hit), telling her about the posters and paintings on the wall. There are all kinds of toys and magic in the world.
Then I carried her over to the window, rested her against my chest and belly, we both looked up at the beautiful sky. I’m not certain, but this may have been the first time she looked up and saw it.
The sun was gleaming off of the new skyscrapers going up all over downtown Brooklyn, and I said, “hey Robin, this is the world outside, you’re going to live out there one day. Let’s take a look at the world.” I called it our Kitchen Tour.
And she was more than eager, she was rapt, silent, wide-eyed, in kind of mesmerized trance, as the sun gleamed off the big towers in the sky. I don’t know how long we both stood there that way, it seemed like a long time to me. Somewhere in there, without my knowing it, Em reached for her Iphone and took this picture.
I will look at it, it is not about cute or admiration, it seemed like something else to me.
I had the idea that she could have looked all day, and we did do some bonding – I could feel it – as I took her on her tour of the kitchen and the wider world beyond the window, beyond her apartment. She is only three weeks old, and I doubt she could see or absorb much at that age, but there was a feeling, a connection between us. I could see a bit of the role of a grandfather, perhaps it is to show his granddaughter something of the world while everyone else is busy caring for her.
So this is what I can do. I need to know that there is something I can do, not just stand around and gush. And I can just listen, and that is important also. Emma and Jay know what they are doing, they don’t need me to tell them.
It was an important visit, I had my first AirBnb experience, it was very positive. I had a beautiful room in a gorgeous old Park Slope brownstone owned by the nicest people, they even have a great dog, and I can’t wait to show it to Maria. But I have to book it months in advance.
I took my first Uber rides and I see why they are so popular. It is so easy to take an Uber ride. And I love seeing the animated graphic that shows me where the car is. That is pretty neat.
And somehow, I took a step out into the world myself, we have a way now of visiting Emma and New York City that is affordable and meaningful. No small thing. Robin and I will look at the world together. As Emma said, we are off to a good start. I think Em got the best photo but I got some good ones and will be putting them up.
