Into The Whirlwind
Update on a wild day all around. Maria arrived at Logan Airport in Boston (many of you have asked for updates, so I will try to oblige around 7 p.m., her flight is scheduled to depart in a couple of hours, the plane will get out a few hours ahead of a howling blizzard expected to hit Boston Monday.
She did an amazing job of navigating this leg of the journey, dodging two or three different and massive storms in two or three different places. She left her as the storm hit Cambridge, and got to Boston just as one storm was quieting, and is leaving a few hours before the next one hits.
It seems strange to us both that there has been little serious weather this winter, and a series of winter whirlwinds hitting on the day she leaves for India. Maria takes it all as a ritual of initiation, which she blogged about from her hotel room earlier in the day. Maria's strength seems to grow day by day, she is utterly confident about her trip and eager to get there. I have never seen her so excited.
I have also never seen her more even. She has developed a new philosophy of acceptance and patience, if things are not to be, then they won't be, if they are meant to be, they will be. She doesn't sweat the small stuff or panic much anymore. Beautiful to see it. Her philosophy was tested today, she didn't check the weather and flight schedule, she had faith that what should happen would happen. A good and powerful philosophy.
For me, a wild day, this storm is still hitting here, and will keep up through the night. The farm is buried. It is strange to be in a storm like this without Maria, this is the sort of thing we love to tackle together, preparing and riding it out and shoveling and rushing food to the animals.
I shoveled and shoveled today and just couldn't keep up, I sent an SOS to our friend and neighbor, the young and strong Tyler Lindenholl who rode his chariot (snowmobile) here and helped out. He's coming back in the morning.
Scott Carrino checked in several times to wonder if I was shoveling too much (I don't think so) and ask if I needed anything. I appreciate the call, I'm set for now.
Maria's absence has left a void here that I cannot fill, it is as if a piece of my heart and soul is missing. And I suppose that is the truth of it. We both are so excited, I can't remember feeling so much excitement since our wedding day in 2010. The excitement overwhelms the absence and separation.
I felt a great sadness when Maria pulled away in her little Prius and into the storm, and some worry, but so far, no loneliness. I am used to being alone, it is not strange for me, what is strange is not having Maria nearby to talk with, hug, kiss and love. Before I meet Maria, I had given up on love, I thought I would die before I found it.
And there is was, right across the street. Now there it is, soon to board a plane for Asia, and the wondrous, teeming and overwhelming city of Kolkata. Everyone who goes to India says the same thing about it, it is overwhelming and tragic and wonderful.
Tomorrow, if she can get through the storm, Cassandra Conety will be here to help with the farm chores so I can burrow into my book. The day may not be as peaceful or organized as I hope, there are a lot of issues on the farm when there is this much snow, for me, the barns and grounds, and for the animals, who can hardly move outside of the barn.
Maria and I talked a dozen times today, texting, e-mails, phone calls as she moved into Massachusetts. So we really have not been apart. I will stay up tonight until I know she is off the ground and on the way. Tomorrow she will be on a plane for 16 hours, the first time I will not be able to reach her. I think I will feel that. More to come.