Day: September 19, 2017

Art is a fundamentalist Evangelic who take the Bible quite literally and has very strong religious and social views. He admits he has a  tendency to alienate people.

Even though we are very different people, he and I have made a connection, and I admire his integrity and sensitivity if not his temper or occasional intolerance.

We connect with one another as human beings, and as he is so isolated and beleaguered right now, I want to help him.  With the help of the Army Of Good, I’ve brought him an air conditioner for his room, a CD player, and a full  set of audio discs of the Bible. My readers of faith are sending him messages, which he devours. A big reclining chair is on the way, it will greatly help his back.

He believes homosexuality is a sin. He believes few people know their scriptures. He tells people they might burn in Hell.

He hopes I will one day be saved because I have not found truth faith.

It is not for me to judge him or argue with him, but to help him out. I don’t understand our connection, but it is real. Still, I felt last week that Art was suffering, he needed to have someone in his life who also has great faith. Someone that he can talk too more easily than I can about the Bible and it’s  parables and stories and sometimes angry injunctions.

I have a close and much-loved friend, her name is Sandy Van Dyk, she is a retired college professor, a gifted poet, a student in my writing class and an evangelical Christian of great and deep faith. She has often traveled to Africa to help people their work and organize and prosper. She is a very different kind of Christian than Art, Sandy deeply believes – and lives – tolerance and compassion, she is not about judgment and damnation, she  lives what it to me, the life of a true Christian, caring for the poor and the vulnerable.

She has fought for racial justice for much of her life.

Art is a big and sometimes loud man with a sharp temper. People are either unnerved by him, or not.

I told Art I had a friend of faith, would he be open to talking with her? He jumped at it and Sandy said she would be happy to come and meet  him.   Sandy has been around and can handle herself, I told her Art can be intimidating, she was not in the least bit intimidated by him.

Sandy has seen a lot worse than Art in her life, I wasn’t concerned about her.

Art felt at ease with her right away, he trusted her and saw her as someone connected to faith, Sandy knows the Bible as well as anyone, and the two talked for well over an hour. Sandy knows how to listen, and right now, Art needs to talk, he is drawn to pushing people away, and is very alone. Sandy talked to him about the Bible, about speaking more softly and gently to people, he told her the story of his life.

He has talked with me openly as well, but I could see Art needed  to speak with someone closer to his passionate faith. Sandy and I were a good pair to talk to Art, she listened intently, talking occasionally, I poked and prodded to learn more about Art, I never drift far from my journalistic past, I want to get everybody’s story. Given the chance, I usually do.

I learned today that Art was married three times out in Montana where he lived, and has nine children. He is in touch with none of them. I asked him if he wanted to be in touch with them, and he said yes, but they had walked away from him, and he felt it should be their own choice to come back to him.

I asked if I could contact one of them and talk about a phone call or visit with them, and he said it seemed hopeless to try to do that. I asked if there was one child I could contact on his behalf, and his eyes teared up and he mentioned a son that he might like to see or talk with. I asked for the young man’s address and Art said he didn’t know where he lived. I asked if he had a phone number and Art  said he did.

By now, Sandy and I could both see that Art very much wanted to talk with his children, and this son was a way in. I asked if I could have the boy’s phone number and he said yes, that would be fine, he could give it to me Thursday at the Mansion.

This was a breakthrough, I believe, Art has a big heart and so soft ways. He worries a lot about the other residents and prays for them. I am going to work at connecting with his children, starting with the son he mentioned, and see if some phone calls or even a visit might be arranged. Art has no idea where any of them are.

But I was a reporter, I told him, and I will find them and it is up to him if he wants to contact them himself. Sometimes, I said, it’s the father who has to take the first step, I have learned that in my own life.

Sandy and Art connected in much the same way Art and I did,  I sat listening to them talk about the Bible and it’s meaning for them.We are both going to see him again next week, Sandy is free, of course, to see him any time. I think he would like that. Today, I think we reached into his somewhat hardened heart and soul and touched them both a bit.

Bringing Sandy was a great idea. One thing almost everyone at the Mansion needs is someone to talk to, someone who will listen.

It will go where it goes.

I don’t know what will happen next, but I am eager to see. Today was a good day at the Mansion.

If you wish to write Art, you can do so by writing him c/o The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

Bill has up and down days, today was an up day. He loves flowers, and i brought him a beautiful vase of flowers from our garden. I returned to the Mansion later in the day, and I was surprised to find a package addressed to Bill from Pennsylvania. The box was well sealed and had a packet of dry ice sitting on top of some beautiful cupcakes.

Inside was a not from Ryan S. “Dear Bill,” it read, “I’m just writing to thank you for being openly gay and for all the work you have done for the gay community. It is because of gay men like you that I am able to live as freely as I can today.”

As you can see, Bill, who is 82 and suffered a stroke last  year, was deeply touched by the box of cupcakes, he broke out in the widest grin I have seen on his face. That message meant a lot to him. Somebody cares. Somebody is listening.

The open hearts of the gay world are reaching out to Bill, as requested, sending him letters, notes, and now some cupcakes. Bill loves sweets, and he instantly offered to share the cupcakes with the other Mansion residents. These messages are powerful signals from the wider world, from the community that is so important to him and that he misses so much.

“I just woke up,” he kept saying, “I’m trying to get my head around this.” Bill often talks about the difficulties of being gay in a mostly straight world. “It’s not a simple thing,” he says. “But I love being gay. It’s who I am.” Yesterday, he talked about his struggle to find good reasons for living, today, he seemed to have found a few.

Bill  still won’t try the James Patterson audio books I brought him, he is having trouble mustering the will to turn on the CD player next to his bed. We went outside for a walk on the grounds, he sat on a chair for a while watching the construction of a new 10-bed memory facility the Mansion is building as an extension of their current assisted care facility.

Bill loves to sit and watch the trees come down. He is happy to see Red and me, and he likes to talk and be listened to. Your messages brought some light to his eyes and his smile. He does not feel so lost or alone.

That is a great step towards recovery. In a day or so, we will take another walk together.

If you choose, you can write Bill c/o Bill, The Mansion, 11 S.Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. And thanks Ryan. I’m told the cupcakes are delicious.

Red and I were visiting some of the residence when the fire alarm sounded, it was no drill and the order was given to evacuate the Mansion immediately. All of us – me too – went from room to room making sure the residents knew they had to leave and helping them when necessary, many use walkers or wheelchairs. Others are frail and unsteady.

The police chief pulled in the drive in a minute or two and some of the maintenance staff – they are trained firefighters – started a room to room check. The staff was extraordinarily calm and quick without showing any signs of panic and alarm, which could have been passed on to the residents.

Everyone was out of the building in under ten minutes, and the staff – supervisors and aides – carried chairs out quickly for those who needed to sit down. I was struck by the calm and professionalism, which was transmitted to the residents, who moved quickly and quietly outside.

There was no fire in the Mansion, all the rooms were carefully checked, something set one of the sensors off. Nobody got excited or too alarmed,  everyone got to safety as quickly as humanly possible. It was a nice thing to see, we chatted with the residents, made sure they were comfortable, and then helped everyone back into their rooms.

I was especially impressed with the staff’s demeanor, everyone knew what to do and where to go and the residents picked up quickly on their calm and quiet authority. I was thinking of all the possibilities, and felt especially grateful. Getting those people out so quickly and calmly was an impressive feat and would have made an enormous difference if the fire had been real.

I am a big fan of the Mansion staff,but I was much impressed with the way they handled it, and happy I was there to help out. Red was as usual, his efficient self,  he got right to work, moving from resident to resident, and every one wanted to pet him and talk to him.

 

Gus is the King of The Hill, here he sits in the middle of the pasture and often waits for the world to come to him. He is very devoted to Maria and is alway near her

Got up at sunrise to catch one of the last Dahlia’s in our Dahlia garden at sun rise as the sun came over the hills and cut through the fog and mist behind the garden.