Diego, a Black Telescope goldfish, partner to Frieda, is dead. He got sick, his left eye swelled dramatically, and he stopped eating two days ago. I think I also saw the first signs of Ich, an infectious disease common to fish, especially when they are moved to new tanks.

I took Diego out of the tank and killed him swiftly, as I had learned to do when I had fish as a kid. On the scale of things, the death of a fish is not a big deal to either  of us.

Maria sees the fish in a visual way, as an artist, and I see the fish in a conceptual way, I believe I am a steward of all the animals on the farm, not a peer or father or super furbaby. I don’t cry for fish or mourn for them.

I make sure they are well cared for and we will go out today or tomorrow and get another fish. I’ll also start treating the tank for Ich. And yes, I am familiar with the treatments and cures.

We are very content with our fish tank, now a 29 gallon tank. We both find it soothing and beautiful to watch the fish. We both love planting the plants and talking about the fish and the snails. I love having fish tank again.

In my mind there is a scale for dealing with deaths on a farm, which is a constant source of lessons about death. Dogs and cats and donkeys first, then sheep, then chickens, then fish, they are the bottom of the loop.

I suppose the Ed Gulley illness has made me extra conscious of perspective. Dying of brain cancer is one thing, a dead fish is another. We buried Diego, who was a good fish, in the back yard pretty close to Gus. we like to bury our dead animals on our farm if we can.

I am not sorry when a fish dies, they don’t live very long, and life happens, and happens, and happens.