9 July

Review: The Graybar Hotel. Should Murderers Tell Their Stories?

by Jon Katz
The Graybar Hotel

On Halloween, 2004, Curtis Dawkins, a graduate of the University of Michigan Fine Arts Fiction Writing program, smoked crack, dressed up as a gangster, shot and killed and man and went on a brutal rampage that took 24 police officers and a SWAT Team to bring to an end. He confessed to the killing, was sentenced to life in prison without parole.

This month, Scribner published his first book, “The Graybar Hotel,” a short story collection set in a prison. The book has gotten some wonderful reviews and a lot of expected controversy. This is an old and bitter issue, all the way back to Son Of Sam. Many laws have been passed in an attempt to forbid convicted murders from profiting in any way from their crimes through books.

All of these laws have been overturned by the courts.

Dawkins can write. He opens one chapter this way: “A ward at the Michigan Reformatory is a converted gym with a peaked roof and a dozen ceiling fans that whip warm air around the eight-man cubes like hot wind from the wings of desert vultures.”

Some distributors have refused to sell the book, many reviewers have refused to review it, many readers won’t buy it. The sale of books by killers is a touchy issue in publishing.

As of this writing, the book was no. 6,200 on Amazon.

I should say I have no reservations whatsoever about buying, reading or writing about “The Graybar Hotel”, people in prison are still human beings, and writers are writers, whatever they have done and wherever they are. If people are uncomfortable buying the book, they shouldn’t and no one should fault them.  Life imprisonment with no hope of freedom is a dreadful and extreme punishment, Dawkins is hardly getting off with a slap on the wrist

As it happens, Dawkins is a  gifted writer. His short story collection is powerful, touching, restrained. Instead of the usual prison writing about violence and rape and gangs and brutality, he focuses instead on the details of prison life, the quirks and habits of the inmates, the feeling of being there.

He makes no real apologia for what he is has done in the book itself, he does say in the acknowledgement (he does not describe the rampage, which prosecutors described as “horrific”) that “there’s often so much sadness and grief in my heart, it feels like I might explode.”

That feeling does show itself again and again in the beautifully crafted stories about life inside this hidden world.

America has the highest per capital prison population of any country on earth, and we almost never get a sense about what day-to-day life inside those walls is really like.  As with most news, we only see the most sensational stories, the riots and brutality. These stories are subtle and surprising.

Dawkins stories are ethereal, almost mystical, like the tale of his cellmate Pepper Pie, who is given a dead man’s prison identification number and learns to become invisible and pass through walls, eventually escaping.

It is not possible to separate the author from the stories in the book, although the character is anonymous, it feels like Dawkins is trying to tell his story, trying to show us that he is a human being struggling to survive.

Kenneth Bowman, the murdered victim’s younger brother has said he wished that Dawkins, who is now 49, had received the death penalty. “I don’t think he should have the right to publish anything. He should be doing nothing in that prison but going through hell for the rest of his life.”

It felt to me as if that is precisely what Dawkins is, in fact, doing.

Dawkins said his writing became an escape. “A part of me realized, if I’m going to live through this, I’m going to have to find a purpose.” As a reader and admirer of this book, I am glad he chose to write it. I wish him peace and compassion, he surely has a heart, there is nothing fake or contrived about this book.

I honestly can’t imagine how the victim’s family feels, nor can I imagine how I would feel in their shoes. I can only say that I believe everyone has the right to tell their story and each of us can decide if we wish to read it or not. Fortunately, I am not God, I can’t join in the great American lust for judgment.

More than a decade later, Dawkins told the New York Times that he still cannot fathom what drove  him to murder. “I don’t want to blame the drugs and say that it wasn’t me, because part of it was me, he said in an interview. “I’ve spent the years afterwards trying to understand the events of that night.”

For me, his time in prison was a gift because it  made me think and feel. That is the ultimate measure of any book. Everyone inside of a prison is a victim, as are the people they harmed and sometimes killed. Empathy is not confined to the people we like and admire. Mercy is a measure of humanity, for the victims and for the criminals. It turns out that even monsters and killers can be human.

I looked up as much as I could find about the killing, on the night of the shooting Dawkins, already a drug addict, went to the north side of Kalamazoo, Michigan and smoked crack, which he later told police he had never tried before. At some point, he put on a Halloween costume, a 1920’s gangster suit purchased at Goodwill, and a menacing flesh color mask. He grabbed his gun and wandered down the block to an off-campus Halloween party.

Around 1:40 a.m., he approached a group of people in front of a house where there was a party. Someone asked him what the costume was supposed to be, Dawkins pulled out a gun and chased the man down the street. He ended up in front of the house of Thomas Bowman, a house painter who lived near the college campus. Bowman was on the porch, smoking a cigarette. Dawkins asked him for money. When Bowman refused and told him to leave, Dawkins shot him in the chest, and took a hostage inside of the house. It took a SWAT team to get him to surrender.

I really can’t judge the man, that was for the court system to do. I can only relate my feelings about the book.

The plain truth is that it is  a wonderful debut, no one can take it away from the writer Along with the tragedy that took an innocent life is Dawkins own  personal tragedy, a lost life inside this lost world he has so brilliantly captured. What a waste, all around, I kept thinking. Except Dawkins has decided not to make his life a total waste, he chose to tell his stories.

I highly recommend “The Graybar Hotel” for those who wish to read it. It is a wonderful read in its own right, and also a testimony to the complexity of being human. We often see the world in black and white ways, but there are many shades and hues to this writer and his life.

I do not with to live in a black and white world. I hope he writes another book.

12 July

The Merciful Heart. Practicing Radical Mercy. Welcome To Vengeance World

by Jon Katz
Radical Mercy

The other day, I  wrote about a new and beautiful book called “The Graybar Hotel,” it was a debut book, a short story collection. The author is named Curtis Dawkins, and he is a convicted murder, he shot a man to death in Kalamazoo Michigan more than a decade ago and was sentenced to life imprisonment without any chance of parole.

He will spent the rest of his days there, he has no hope.

In the acknowledgments, Dawkins, and MFA graduate in the University of Michigan’s Fiction Workshop program said he will  never understand that night when he killed a man, he had just taken crack cocaine for the first time. He is donating any profits to an education fund for his children.

I suppose I am naive, but I was shocked by the response on my social media pages, a number of people said Dawkins should not ever be permitted to write or profit from a book and some suggested he should spend every day for the rest of life in hell, unable to create or have a peaceful day.

I couldn’t get my head around this idea that we should commit an atrocity on a human being to punish him for committing an atrocity on another human being. Mercy was a stranger on that thread, and I momentarily felt silly for even raising it, the freak on the wall.

A fellow writer posted, saying Dawkins ought to be able to write the book, but should not in any way profit from it, nor should his publisher. This, of course, is just another way of saying he shouldn’t and couldn’t publish his book, and what a loss that would have been.

I loved the book, Dawkins brought me into this lost and unseen world.

I am often struck by the decline and fall of mercy in America.  If not for Pope Francis and the Dalai Lama, we would never even hear of it, it is never, ever, on the news.

We consider ourselves a religious –  some say a Christian – nation, but people who consider themselves religious, and many who call themselves Christians believe neither in forgiveness or redemption. Jesus Christ was all about mercy and forgiveness, yet so many of the people who claim to worship him are not. How does that work?

I struggle to grasp this idea of faith, as I understand it. I long for faith, it is a very personal mission for me, and I embrace the idea of mercy, it alone can save our world.

Pope Francis calls for us to practice mercy to prisoners and the poor, but most people do not listen or care. What does mercy mean if Dawkins is not entitled to any of it, not to mention the sick, the poor, the elderly and the refugees crowding the camps of the world?

In her recent book on mercy,  Hallelujah Anyway, Anne Lamott writes that an “open, merciful heart is a setup for pain, shame and being mocked.” This is true, I was mocked quite a bit for suggesting that even a convicted murderer might one day  be entitled to mercy or forgiveness. Most people found the very idea outrageous, and in my life, it is true that the evocation of mercy often brings shame, mockery, or silence.

Welcome to Vengeance World, wrote Lamott. Just look at the news and count up the number of times you hear about mercy or forgiveness.

“I am not sure I even recognize the ever presence of mercy any more,” the writes, “the divine and the human; the messy, crippled, transforming, heartbreaking, lovely, devastating presence of mercy. But I have come to believe that I am starving to death for it, and my world is, too.”

I am starving for it, and to see it beyond the narrow confines of my world and my farm.

Mercy is a radical kind of kindness.

Mercy, writes Lamott, means offering or being offered aid in desperate straits. Mercy is not deserved. It involves absolving the unabsolvable, forgiving the unforgiveable. Mercy brings us to the miracle of apology, given and accepted, to unashamed humility when we have erred or forgotten.

If we can’t show mercy to Curtis Dawkins, who nearly drowns in grief and regret, then who can we show it to? Only good people who follow the law and never harm anyone? Are they the ones who really need it? All I saw on my media pages was Vengeance World, a life sentence without parole was not enough, Dawkins had to suffer every day in every possible way. He was no longer human, he had forfeited any merciful thought.

What does it mean to be a devout Jew in our world? A practicing Christian or Muslim? All of these great religions preach forgiveness and mercy and redemption.  But there is so little mercy or redemption in our country, or in our world. Sometimes I think Pope Francis is the last person alive who understands the meaning of faith. I hope he lives to be 150 years old.

Such hypocrisy – and it is hypocrisy, by any definition –  is almost overwhelming to me. Only crime and the criminal confront us with the perplexity of radical evil, wrote the moral philosopher Hannah Arendt, but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core. In politics, love is a stranger…

I hope to become devout practitioner of radical mercy.

Bedlam Farm