Simon is evolving, from a lone and disconnected and disoriented animal to a pack animal. And this has changed me as well.

This transormation is facinating and remarkable and exists, I believe, without the epidemic romanticizing, fantasizing and emotionalizing that so often surrounds our relationships with animals. When Simon came here, he was injured and seemed to have no consciousness of himself as part of a species. He simply struggled to eat, gain strength and move around in pain. His universe was me, Maria, his only connections to the world beyond the corral, and to the nourishment he desperately needed to survive. He was not thinking of gratitude, rescue, anger or saving humans. He was using all of his instincts to gain strength and heal. He grew stronger by the day. He needed food, water, medicine and yes affirmation. It seemed that with each visit, each talk, each connection he grew healthier. Affirmation keeps coming to mind. Odd.

It was very interesting to see Lulu and Fanny during this period. Normally, they come down from the pasture to see us whenever we appear near the gate. During the most intense period of Simon’s struggle, they never came down, never approached the barn, never seemed to expect food or attention. They were skittish, standoffish, hypervigilant. They seemed to sense to stay away.

When Simone was put together with them, their ears were frequently back and they kicked him several times and huffed at him. He now always wants to be with them, and the three of them have become pack. They have resolved their positions because we left them alone to do it. We overcame our anxiety about putting them together, and let them solve their problems. And they did.

We saw it evolve over the last few days. They are now inseparable. Yet donkeys are the most intuitive creatures I have ever been around – far more so than dogs or humans, in my experience.

When we come to the gate now, Lulu and Fanny are the first ones there, and they demand their carrots and treats before Simon, and he backs up and defers – before he nearly broke through the gate to get his carrot, now he waits. They take the lead, he seems to defer. They are getting peaceful together, now that they each seem to know their place. Like the farrier said, “We are Queens. You are Simon.”Simon is aware of me and Maria, he brays when he sees us, but clearly wants to be with the other donkeys first, and that is as it should be. A good sign. He seems to me to be instinctively aware now of his connection with Lulu and Fanny – he has never been with donkeys before, so perhaps didn’t see himself as a donkey – and on the farm I have always been struck by how much animals of the same species want and need to be together. Simon is adapting to donkey ways – how they graze, go up the hill at night, stand in the Pole Barn in the the heat day, keep some distance apart when grazing. He is learning to be himself.

So this identify has asserted itself. Simon has evolved from a needy and bewildered and injured animal to one who is getting stronger, who has really found his place with the other donkeys. He knows who he is – instinctively, not intellectually. You can see how much more peaceful he is.

I stood out with all three for a half hour this morning, give one a treat, then the other. Lulu first, Fanny next, then Simon. This seems to be the order all are comfortable with, without any biting, kicking or drama. The less emotionalizing I do – I’m a hero, he is a spirit come to save me, we were meant to find one another, how piteous he is – the more I see.

Simon’s arrival has changed me. I am more open. More comfortable showing my face in videos and photos. Prompted a coming out. Pehaps a mutual experience of finding my place. Odd, but I feel healthier, more alert, more energy. I believe I am moving differently, more fluidly. I am more connected to my body and mind in some way I don’t understand. I think there is a healing quality to Simon – again, instinctive, not conscious, not in words or motives. It is a very powerful thing. I will be honest and share it with you. More to come.