March 23, 2010 – Cold, rainy. Getting ready to pay my taxes. I thought I’d get money back, but no such luck. I finished the first day of my forced time off. Strange not to write, took a few photos. Going out to dinner with Maria. I was thinking a lot today about attitude. It’s an act of faith these days to turn on the radio, where there is a predictable infusion of anger, doom or hysteria. Staying positive has become a challenge, and perhaps it always was. Reading through a book on Winston Churchill, I wondered at the ability of the British to stay positive in the face of news that was vastly worse than what we get on our nightmare cable channels.

Attitude is, I think, a choice, like fear. You can roll either way. For me, the challenge is to understand reality. I want to know what is happening. But to remember that we do make our own news, and much of that is internal, and very much a choice. I have largely disconnected from politics, as it is simply too hateful for me.

And I understand enough history to know that almost every period of life has been viewed by the people living it as awful, worse than the time that went before. I’m not going there. Nostalgia is a trap, and so is bitterness and whining. I think I hate whining above all human traits, and have never understood it. I told Maria that if she catches me whining, push me in the creek and leave me there.