Barn, Bunker Hill Road

I had some important revelations sitting in Quaker Meeting yesterday, in the deepening silence, listening to the wind. It felt like my place, my home, a safe and spiritual place. I understand that forgiveness is also about acceptance. Learning not to judge. Moving past anger. Moving past fear, past the geography of pain and trauma.

In the Meeting, I began forgiving myself, and drawing a boundary between those times and these. We all did our best, including my Mother, a tormented woman who drove the people she loved the most far away. I do not want to do the same thing. I remembered yesterday going to my first Quaker Meeting when I was 14 and drinking in the silence and the peace, and sharing the values and simplicity. I lost some of those feelings, and returning was profound for me. This is a week of good decisions, and important ones. I will share them, as always.

I want to work on letting go of much of my life, and looking ahead. Hard to do, easy to say. It’s taken awhile to get there. A long, long time.