I’m never good on specific dates, but this is roughly the Fifth Anniversary of the Bedlam Farm Journal, inspired by my life here and by some old Farm Journals I found where farmers recorded the details of their lives in diary form. The journals were very powerful, and I decided I would follow that inspiration and keep a record of my life here.
The Journal turned out to be something very different than I imagined. It is to me a sort of living book, a diary, an open and hopefully honest account of a life. The Journal promotes my work – my writing and photography as well – something I didn’t really foresee when I started it. It began as a sort of communical web community – lots of people on the site besides myself. That didn’t work out. The Journal isn’t a dialogue, really, but a monologue, not an online conversation but my account of my life.
I did not imagine that tens of thousands of people from all over this country and the world would follow the Journal regularly and find some inspiration from it. I appreciate it, and will try and live up to the responsibility.
Some turning points.
When I decided not to open the Journal up to comments, avoiding the chaos and hostility that engulfs so much of the Net.
When I decided to share my struggles with anxiety, depression, a search for a spiritual life, the collapse of my personal life and a near breakdown. I decided to be open within limits, and share some, but not nearly all of my private life.
When I began taking photographs and posting them on the site.
When I branched out onto Facebook and Twitter.
I am comfortable with the Journal now, heading into its sixth year. I don’t foresee many more changes. It turned out to be a more or less faithful record of my life, as important to me as it is to some others out there. I have some friends who find the very idea of this kind of blog insane, incomprehensible. I’ve come to love it, and I can’t imagine life without it. As I finish another year on the Farm Journal, I promise to keep it going, post as often I can, be honest and open about my life and my creative process, and to read and respond to as many of your messages as I can. There is a new reality here – Maria and marriage – and that has only enriched my life and my account of it. Thanks for your support.