The birdbath, after the storm

I have to say I’m with Woody Allen when it comes to relationships. They are tricky, and the heart does want what the heart wants. My time as a single man has been both spectacular and mundane. Divorce gives one a particular perspective on the importance of working at relationships. Maria and I were thrown together in the way people are not supposed to be – in the midst of crisis and drama.

We have both changed, quite a bit, and we have changed together. As a single man, I learned to manage my life, learn about money, pay my bills, take responsibility for a lot of things – cooking, cleaning. I needed help and I got help. I needed to get some people out of my life, and I did. I needed to find new people in my life, and I did. Throughout all of it, Maria and I have drawn closer, and dealt with life together. Everyone I know tells me I am lucky and blessed. I know that. I relished my time as a single man. I loved walking in the woods, dawdling for hours over a particular photograph, buying things when I wished.

People told me that women would be lining up to be with me. They were not.  I had two “dates” and they were both pretty awful. I did have a romantic encounter on a book tour, in Texas. That was nice. The next day I got a tattoo that said “Maria.”

Maybe because I was only interested in one woman from the beginning. How odd I would find her in a tiny town on a remote farm in upstate New York. Life is stranger even than Woody Allen knew.

Sharing a life is a big change for me. I like it. It seems to me a significant portion of what life is about. As I move towards marriage, I’d like to write more about my life as a single man, what I’ve learned.