When you put up photos of working border collies and lambs, as I do, you can’t blame people for thinking animals are cute, or that I should get and keep all of them, and more. We are thinking about how many animals we want here, now that we are staying at Bedlam Farm and not selling it. People are urging me to keep the donkeys, the sheep, Bartleby and mom, and of course the dogs. People even think I should get Elvis or other cows and steers back (Elvis is gone to glory, for those who don’t know. His return would be a very big story.)

I understand people’s feelings, but they provoke quite a few of my own. My own thoughts about keeping animals:

Nobody should keep animals for the amusement of other people. That isn’t fair to animals, or to me.

I had too many animals – cows, goats, sheep, donkeys. The reasons for this were as complex as they were unhealthy. I think I was creating story and drama to fuel my writing, as well as my loneliness. Nobody can really care for that many animals. It’s not healthy, in my view, unless you make a living raising and selling them.

My main focus is the dogs. That’s what I write about. I have four now – Rose, Frieda, Izzy and Lenore – and they all require love, exercise and work and training. That’s a lot. And I have two barn cats. I don’t want to lose that focus. It’s essential in creative terms.

I am a writer. I am not a farmer, a zookeeper or an animal rescue facility. There’s nothing wrong with those things, but it isn’t what I do. It’s important, I have learned, to know what you are as well as what you are not. I am also a photographer and children’s book writer, and have returned to fiction – novels and short stories. That’s a lot of work, as is managing a farm and a new relationship. I don’t wish to spent all of my time and energy on food, water, medical care and fencing issues. Not to mention money.

Animals are not cute, at least not to me. They are spiritual creatures. They – and Maria and I – need sanity, space and quiet in our lives. Not mayhem and chaos.

So I’m not going back to stuffing the farm with animals. At the moment, we are considering keeping Lulu and Fanny and a handful of sheep. I don’t know about Bartleby. I don’t want to keep him because he is a cute lamb.  Soon, he will be a big ram. We’ll see how it turns out.

I lost perspective before, and I don’t intend for that to happen again. I think it is exploitive to keep animals because they are seen as “adorable.” I don’t see them that way. I only want to keep animals Maria and I know, love and can spend time with. And that don’t make it impossible for me to do the best work I can do, and that requires a lot of time and thought. Not to mention a partner that deserves the same.