A reporter asked me last week if I believed that dogs go to heaven, and I said I didn’t know. When I posted the question on Facebook, just about everyone who replied said dogs surely go to heaven. It’s an odd idea, really. There are two things I avoid like the plague – discussions of theology or politics, two areas where Americans have seemingly lost the ability to have rational conversations. Dogs might be the third, although I can’t really avoid that.
In fairness, I gave some thought to the question this weekend. What do I think? First off, I think it’s presumptuous for us to assume dogs will go to heaven because we want them to be there. Heaven is a human notion, not, as far as I know, a canine idea or aspiration.
Why would dogs want to go to heaven, and sit up in the blue clouds and float around with nothing to do? Would they be able to chase each other there? Roll in disgusting stuff? Have sex? Chew carpets and furniture? Lick themselves for hours? I doubt it. We don’t even let them do those things here, let alone in the celestial space.
In my mind, dog heaven would be quite different from human ideas about heaven. Dog have would have lots of sofas to lie on, gardens to dig up, the freedom to run offleash, and chase chipmunks, lawns with holes in them, unrestricted sex, areas to fight and squabble with one another, animals to chase and kill, lots of smelly, rotting things to rub and roll in.
We humans are an arrogant lot, much more so than the faithful dog. We assume that because we think or want something, then our dogs would naturally think or want the same thing. They must think what we think, feel what we feel.
They must be going to heaven because we want them to be there. I don’t like the idea myself.
I have no idea who is going to heaven, me, dogs or anybody else. So far, I don’t think I deserve it.
But if there is a heaven for humans, my greatest wish for all the great dogs I know is that they don’t have to go there, just because we are there. For their sakes, I hope they don’t have to go there at all.