Simon and me.

I have often seen that a writer doesn’t know what a book is about until it is published and people tell him or her what it is about. I am getting the word about “Going Home,” in reviews, e-mails, social media postings and at book events,including my first last night in Colonie, N.Y.

This book is about empowerment, I am hearing, and that makes sense to me, as it was my hope and idea. “Empowerment,” like closure is one of those words you hear a lot but whose meaning can get obscure. It has become something of a social cliche. But it is, like many cliches, a powerful idea. Several people last night, and many more this week,  have said the book is empowering. This is why:
“Going Home” says that it is okay to grieve. That  it is not ridiculous, foolish, weak or indulgent – all hammers used against animal lovers for years –  to feel great grief and pain over the loss of a dog, cat, horse or other animal we love. A social worker told me last night that the grief of animal lovers has been disenfranchised by a culture that trivializes mourning for animals and forces it underground, where it festers and bleeds. “Going Home” says it is okay to bring it into the light. To acknowledge it and feel entitled to it.  Don’t beat yourself up or second-guess yourself for grieving an animal. Ever.

Beyond that, I am adding yet another idea. It is also okay to feel better, to heal, to move on when you are ready and in your own time and way. I tried to assemble specific tools in the book to help people feel good as well as sad. I celebrate my life with dogs, from beginning to end, and never want to lose that sense of joy and gratitude. Whenever I think of my dogs, living or dead, I smile. Try it.

“Going Home” also focuses on guilt as a useless and often inaccurate and self-destructive element of grieving for animals. The people who feel guilty, I’ve noticed, have almost never done anything wrong. Guilt is not an emotion that exists in the animal world, and it taints our glorious life with animals.  It is rarely true or justifiable. People who abuse animals rarely feel guilt.

Psychologists say our wounds over the loss of animals who provide us connection and love in a disconnected and harsh world is very real, very justified, and quite understandable. I believe the book provides some insights and self-awareness that is both healing and essential to understanding our grief and loss. Many people who have lost dogs seek sympathy and understanding, but they need to know where to go to find it. And to understand that few people want to spend much time around grief and mourners. Not many people want to hear your story, and not for too long. That is one of the lessons I learned in hospice. Ultimately, we must turn to ourselves if we wish to move on, to get to a better and less painful place.

So I like the idea of “Going Home” and empowerment. It is okay to feel sad, to cry. It is okay to feel good, to move on. It is empowering to have the tools to be self-aware and to heal ourselves.

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I wanted to share with you this review of “Going Home” from today’s Baltimore Sun. I am grateful for  it and for your support:

“Katz has earned a reputation as one of the more eloquent dog writers around. In a world polluted with way too many dog books without soul or style, Katz is the real thing.”