As a writer, I’m especially conscious of words, and the way they move through out consciousness. Some words – journey, “in this economy,”, awakening – are used so often and in so many different ways I don’t really know what they mean.

Storms suggest awakenings to me. In our culture, and especially in this era of climate change, storms mean a lot of different things, some of them ugly and frightening. To me, they suggest awakenings, they pull me out of myself, challenge me to interact with the world around me, to care for animals, to breathe in the fearsome beauty of the natural world.

What does awakening mean to me? The great minds I love – Arendt, Aquinas, Buddha, Thoreau, Merton – all say the same thing, in one form or another. Awakening begins when I control my thoughts, my mind, and not live by the thoughts, fears and expectations  and experiences of others. Every day I am called upon to present my words, my ideas, my photos to the world and as they evolve, the question is not what others think but what I think. Controlling thoughts is difficult, painful, painstaking. In my 60’s, I have been challenged to change the way I think, the tracks on which my mind and thoughts have run. To separate myself from the ideas and conventions of the overwhelming majority of people around me, as regards to safety, security, money, work and health.

As I have worked to control my mind, my thoughts, my life has evolved. My work has become more creative, more joyous, I have discovered photography. I have found love, connection and direction. It is not a perfect life, it is a meaningful life. I am learning to be honest, authentic, to separate myself from conflict, drama and a culture of epidemic warning and terror. I am learning to imagine the life I wish to have, and learning that it will come to me, find me, guide me. This involves a great letting go, sometimes frightening leaps of faith, a different way of reacting to the world and seeing it.

This is, to me, an awakening, or the beginning of it, the emergence of something I have wanted my whole life: a spiritual life.