It has been my lot as a writer about dogs and other animals to often be telling people things they do not wish to hear or agree with. I’d perhaps be a lot richer if I stopped doing this, but like the scorpion said to the frog, it’s just my nature. On the book tour for “Going Home,” nothing I said was more controversial or shocking to animal lovers than my skepticism about whether animals grieve for one another like humans. When I said I did not see human-like grieving in my dogs, one woman walked out of the reading. In rebuttal and shock, I heard stories of birds, elephants, of course and dogs and cats and swans pining away for one another. Since it is never clear to me how to separate emotional from behavioral and instinctive responses in animals, this just is not as clear-cut for me as it is for some.

Personally, I have never witnessed grieving in any animal I have ever seen and dogs, donkeys, chicken,  sheep and goats have all died here. But then, no dog of mine has ever experience separation anxiety either, another epidemic and human-projected emotional problem put into dog’s heads, usually at great expensive (Prozac  mostly). I have seen animals distracted, rattled, confused and anxious when an animal disappears, but if you look at the overall history of animals, and dogs in particular, from Katrina to the millions of dogs re-homed, I believe the most remarkable quality of animals like dogs is their adaptability. Of the ten to 12 million dogs moved from one home to another each year, it seems the overwhelming majority get on with their lives, looking for food and attachment. This is, I believe, the real nature of real animals, not the Disney ones.

Many people have lots of anecdotes to support their belief that animals grieve, and I accept those stories. One man on the tour told me it was an absolute fact that his dogs grieved for one another. Good for you, I said. Get an agent, write a book and make some real money.

I know many people do not believe that it is not clear that animals grieve as humans do, and many more do not wish to believe it, and that is fair enough. Behaviorists will tell you that those elephants could just as well be acting out of instinct when they search for their lot mates as human-style emotion. We all believe what we need to believe, including me.  Dogs and humans dance together, and it’s tougher and tougher to separate or stuff from theirs. If you are anxious about leaving your dog in the house, the odds are good he will be anxious about your going. I suspect we will never know the absolute truth for sure. And I never am certain that I am right,  just a seeker gathering information.

Rose died nearly two weeks ago, and I have seen no sign of grief, morning or sadness in the other dogs. Things have changed. Pack animals are always affected by the arrival or departure of the pack. Things are quieter. Frieda and Rose never got completely comfortable with one another – two dominant females unwilling to give much ground. I thought Izzy would react if anyone would, as he and Rose were inseparable, in the farmhouse and on walks. I think Frieda is visibly calmer, more relaxed in the house. Izzy was needier for a day or so, coming around more frequently for attention. And there was more time to give it to him, also. I noticed no difference of any kind in Lenore.

It is easier having three dogs than four. Three is a good number for me. I am spending more time Training Frieda. Feeding is simpler, quicker. Rose was a finicky eater, always watching Frieda’s bowl. Dogs are always reacting to one another, usually in ways we don’t see or grasp. So there is the sense of things being somewhat easier and more fluid. The dogs have never missed a meal, refused a treat, missed a chance to chance a ball,  or failed to hop up and run to the door for a walk.

The rituals and experiences of grief are personal and individual. Everyone experiences them differently. So far, I have seen no evidence of any kind to suggest Lenore, Izzy and Frieda are grieving for Rose. If that changes, I will be honest and happily share it with you. I do not cling to invested positions or get upset with people who disagree with me. If I need to change, I will change.