When I think about what I most want for myself in 2012, I keep coming back to the idea of compassion, something I would not have made my primary wish a few years ago. In the public sphere, compassion seems out of favor. We seem drawn to a culture of argument and confrontation, from Congress to talk of war, the poor, the plight of Mother Earth, teachers, students, librarians, the foreign-born. These arguments always seem cold and dispassionate to me, and disturbing for many reasons, mostly because they seem to lack compassion and empathy, two long-standing hallmarks of the American experience.
On a personal level, I wish for compassion. For myself, in forgiving the things I have done that I regret. For others, so that I might shed judgement, anger and frustration and understand the connection I have with other people, not only the disconnection. I do see that we are all alike, in so many ways.
Compassion is, for me, about selflessness. I don’t wish to only feel mercy for dogs and other animals. Compassion means feeling for Simon, but also for the farmer who lost his way in caring for him. I wish to feel mercy for human beings in their sorrows and struggles. I don’t want to drown in compassion – I have my own life to live, my own wife to love, my own daughter to cherish – but I want to swim in it, if the difference makes any sense. Compassion is a bottomless pit, as many animal lovers know, and I don’t wish to disappear there. Compassion for myself means that I have the right to my own life, to live in comfort and peace and creativity. Loving me is as important as loving anything, and I think that is where compassion really begins. If I cannot learn to love myself, then how can I find love beyond me?
Animals have helped me take my baby steps for love. They teach us love, patience, compassion, since they cannot speak, we have to listen and work to empathize and understand them. For me, that is where compassion can begin, but not where it ends. Love of animals alone is not enough for me, it is a pathway to loving human beings, not an obstacle. I always wince when someone says they cannot trust people who don’t love animals, or who say they don’t wish to go to heaven unless their pets are there. For me, that would not not work. If we can hate people for mistreating animals, then why not love the great majority that loves animals so dearly?
People have the right to love whatever they wish, but my spiritual life is not dependent on a dog or cat or horse or donkey. If I get to heaven, I can live there by myself. Isn’t that what self-determination is all about? I want to take those lessons and dreams of compassion out into the real world, not just to mouth them as expected platitudes but to feel them and incorporate them into my life, through love, the opening of the heart, spirituality, meditation, experience. I’m dreaming of compassion for 2012.