Maria and I are changing our lives, moving forward, and as with almost everything in life, there is a choice. And it often has to do with fear and conventional wisdom. In moving to our New Bedlam Farm, we have chosen to go forward.  We were told that the proper way to do it was to sell our farm, look for a new house, get a mortgage. We did not do it that way.

We put the farm up for sale.  We got a dumpster and cleared out the farmhouse. We made a dozen trips to the Salvation Army. We found a home we love. We made an offer. It was accepted. Last week I applied for a mortgage loan, and Monday it was approved. The paperwork will be done in a couple of weeks.  Running around New York, I was trading e-mails with my banker and by mid-afternoon, we accepted the loan offer. Step-by-step.

We have not yet sold Bedlam Farm and there are many warnings and cautions. What about this market? This economy? The imminent arrival of Armageddon and the collapse of the global economy, the cost of health care, the biological structure of the earth, the rise of extremist politics, and the demise of  life as we know it? We have decided on the other path. Move ahead. Selling the farm is just another step. Like the others, it will happen when it is ready to happen.

We have chosen to bubble forth, as it were. By this Fall, we expect to have our donkeys, dogs and sheep, chickens and barn cats,  Rocky the pony,  (and our new dog, Red) in the New Bedlam Farm, one way or the other. I love having a mortgage in hand, ready to go. When the lucky person who buys Bedlam Farm shows up to love this place, we will be ready to go.

So much of life is a choice in this way, at least for me. Many obstacles, many surprises. I never imagined selling Bedlam Farm. I did not expect to get divorced and alter my financial life. I did not expected publishing to re-invent itself.  I did not expect the Great Recession, or the trauma in the real estate market. I did not imagine I would have an E-book original on the market in August that will sell for the price of a good cup of coffee. I did not expect to lose Rose and Izzy within a few months of one another. This is life. This is the nature of life. I can succumb to the fear and the warnings, or I can go forward and live. I will not live a small life, or a life in fear and caution. I am grateful for my mortgage. Can’t wait to lock it in at a good rate and to live in the New Bedlam Farm.