Maria went snowshoeing with a friend in the woods behind the farmhouse this afternoon and I decided to inaugurate a new daily tradition for me, a meditation walk. I’ve been studying meditation and reading about the idea that one can meditate anywhere, not just sitting down in a chair or on a mat. I love to walk, it is always the exercise that has worked for me, and there are beautiful paths and roads all around me. Normally I will meditate alone on the walk, but today I brought Red and the camera. We walked for an hour, down a busy road, then onto a quiet country road. Red is a little nervous when trucks rush close by, but on the country lane, he could walk off leash. I listened to the click of my my walking stick and I listened to myself think. And when we got to the top of a nearby hill, Red lay down and watched me as I took a deep breath and stood on the top of the hill and looked out.
Then we turned around and started walking again.
In meditation, I have come to see clearly that fear and distraction are screens, they are not true, they are not real. Beyond that, I saw the person I was meant to be, the person I wanted to be. This is the thing to remember, to pull up, to hold dear, when trouble comes. My accountant called me this afternoon and he had a few questions for me as he works on my taxes. He asked if we had sold the farm yet, and I said no, not yet. I said the next months would be challenging for me and he said we should talk later in the week and try and figure some things out. I thought on my meditation walk that I am not alone, as I have often felt I was. I have people helping me, people I can listen to, talk to depend on. And I have Maria.
My accountant said – we are friends, in a sense, we have been through stuff together – I should not worry or feel bad. Everyone he deals with is dealing with one kind of issue or another, and this touched me also, this idea of a community, we are all in it together, we are none of us alone. I can feel it, he was telling the truth. This surprised me, this touching reassurance from an account, a man of numbers, whose life is so different from mine. I felt strong on this walk, stronger than I have felt in awhile. It is the challenges, not the successes, I thought, that define me. It is ironic, people are so in touch with one another – liking each other’s likes on Facebook, obsessed with keeping in touch, making so much noise but so few signals, but yet we are not really in touch with one another at all for all of our devices.
On my walk, I reached down into my strength. Into my work, my creativity, my love and as we returned I felt cleansed, nourished, fit for life. I am ready for life, every day. will be taking these walks every day, somethings with Red, sometimes not, sometimes with my camera, sometimes alone.