8 January

Book Review: Are Men’s Lives Worth Saving?

by Jon Katz
Book Review
Book Review

First in a new series of weekly book reviews from Bedlam Farm.

It is so difficult sometimes to endure men that we forget that it is not easy to be one. To see the tragedy of men and their tortured history and agonizing roles in the world, just look at the news from Washington on a given day, where the posturing, hostility and narcissism are on display before the world. When they are not killing one another, they are…well, killing one another. Men have soaked the world in blood and shame and most people are too busy surviving them to spend much time to try and understand them.

It is an article of faith among women that men don’t talk about their feelings easily, unless they are gay.

Perhaps as a consequence, there are very few good novels about men, especially novels that women can read and enjoy. Jonathan Tropper has written a very good one, “One Last Thing Before I Go,” from Dutton, available in print and digital form, everywhere books are sold and from Battenkill Books, online and on the phone. (518 677- 2515).

Drew Silver is a middle-aged drummer who had his moment of fame some years back, and is now playing weddings and Bar Mitzvah’s, when he is not staring at the walls. He lives in the Versailles apartment building, a refuge for divorced men seeking to rebuild their lives, a dreary place filled with mostly bitter, lonely and confused refugees who washed up in this lonely place, spending their days hiding in their apartments or ogling young girls from a nearby college who sneak in to use the pool. The Versailles is the place everyman fears and no man wants to be.

Once a week, Silver goes to a book store and watches – hiding from behind a bookshelf –  an appealing female guitarist play for children at kid’s book hour. In a year, he has not been able to bring himself to talk to her. Silver is a mess, a lousy husband and ex-husband, a terrible father whose daughter Casey asks him at one point if he knows he is an asshole. Yes, he says, I do. “Why are you?,” she asks. “I don’t know,” he says.

And it’s true. He has no idea how he ended up in the Versailles, seen his career and relationships ebb away like a low tide.  Life has gotten away from Silver, although he desperately wants to re-connect with his daughter Casey, who is soon to head out for Princeton. He gets the chance to be a father again when she blurts out that she  is pregnant. And he sees that she needs him.  Soon after, Drew learns that he has a heart condition that will kill him if he doesn’t get surgery very soon. The surgeon who diagnoses him is the man his ex-wife is about to marry and who just bought his daughter a classy new car to take to school. It troubles Silver that he likes this man more than he should.

Silver stuns his family by refusing the surgery, saying he has no reason to live if he can’t do right by his daughter and deserve to rebuild his shattered life. There are strong females in this book – Silver’s daughter and ex-wife especially, so we see his life through their point of view as well as his. In a way, this is women’s book about men.

And there are strong friendships – there is a fellowship in loneliness and alienation at the Versailles.  I enjoyed this book and recommend it highly, even if Silver’s passivity is sometimes frustrating. We see his need to change so clearly there is an urge to yell at him, just as his daughter does: “wake up!”

This is a novel of love and friendship – some men are very good at friendship, and Silver’s friends at the Versailles support him in every way and help him try and come to terms with his life. Women will find the subject matter compelling – we all know a Silver, grew up with one or maybe even live with one.

Before he can even consider saving his life, Silver goes on a mission to salvage his relationship with his daughter, and through that, his own life. A man’s love for his daughter can be as powerful as any kind of love, and when it goes awry, it can rip apart a man’s heart as deeply as a knife. The Versailles is hilariously rendered, as are the lonely and struggling men who live there. Casey’s love for her father in powerful and unsparing as is his bewilderment at his failures as a parent. Why did you tell me you were pregnant?, he asks, and not your mother. Because I don’t care much what you think, she says. Still, she never quits on Silver, at one point moving into his shabby apartment to keep an eye on him. And he never quits on her. I was rooting for Silver from the first page, a likeable lost soul. He is everyman in a number of ways – good of heart, with good intentions, and absolutely no idea how to live in the realm of honest emotions or to tell the truth about his feelings.

It is the emotional disconnection of men – perhaps the biggest complaint many women have about the men in their lives – that is Tropper’s real target, the subject of “One Last Thing…” At certain points in the book I thought it was a bit over-the-top for Silver to have to face imminent suffering, pain and death before he could rally himself to be a good father to his hurt-but-forgiving daughter. On the other hand, I was reminded that I often tell people the only men I like were either tortured as children or humiliated as adults. It does, perhaps, take a near death experience to open many men up (this hits close to home). I guess that was the point of Silver’s dilemma.

Tropper is a gifted and perceptive writer. His story is sometimes as funny as it is wrenching. I really liked the ending, it was just right. From beginning to the end, Silver grapples with a poignant question – is his life worth saving or not? In  his own way, on his own terms, it’s a question every man asks at one point or another in his life.

I’ll be reviewing books once a week or so on the blog. Saturday, I begin work at Battenkill Books from 11 to 2 p.m. as Recommender-In-Chief (RIC), working the floor, helping people find the books they want, need or might enjoy. My job isn’t to talk about dogs or my books, but to help people find the right books for them. I’ll be doing this until Connie tosses me out.

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