I write a lot about strong women and I admire them greatly. Regina Mason, above is one of them. She works hard every minute of every day of her life, and is about nothing but love and gratitude and hard work and family. But I wanted to write about Todd, her husband, the man who built my fences, because he is a strong man and an admirable one. In a world where it sometimes seems as if men are bent on destroying one another and the planet, Todd is the kind of man that reminds me of what it can mean to be a strong man, how good and important a thing that can be.

Todd runs a 400-acre farm in Vermont, has cows, goats, works with the Grange, helps out friends, does the back-breaking work of fence-building. He works in great pain from arthritis and many back injuries, works from dark to dark on his farm and fencing jobs, is meticulously honest and is a good friend. When he built the fence for us on our new farm, he also trimmed trees, moved boulders and did anything he could to help out. You never feel you hired somebody when you work with Todd, you feel you have extended your family. He came over today with Regina and most of his kids (some were away). As hard as he works, he is a devoted husband and father, a quiet and gentle man. When he speaks, you listen. He doesn’t say a lot or change his mind much.

Todd came to visit and to check out the grassy pasture behind the barn. We don’t have a lot of grass, and there is beautiful grazing land and forest in 17 acres behind the main pasture. I was stumped about using that grass and the water from the stream back there. We need the space for the animals we have and any we might get.  I couldn’t afford to fence it all of the way last year, and I told Todd I this wasn’t a good time to extend the fence either, there isn’t a ton of extra cash lying around. Todd knows we still haven’t sold Bedlam Farm and he came over and offered to build the fence and his estimate was so low I asked him if he was charging for labor. Todd can’t lie, so he said he wasn’t charging for labor.

I said I couldn’t accept that, he works too hard not to get paid for his literally back-breaking labor. We went back and forth. He tromped through the back pasture and found several ways to save on the job – wires tacked onto trees instead of posts. He showed me ways to expand the fencing that would include more land and be great for the donkeys but which would also give us easier access to the beautiful woods behind the house. In my panic,  I once thought we should just cut back on animals, but now I plan to be 90 and we might get some goats or more sheep. Who knows what might come to live on Bedlam Farm?

We could walk the dogs back there, hike ourselves, have lunch in the woods. Regina just smiled and shook her head and got out of the way of the negotiations. Todd, she said, will pretty much do what he wants.

Todd ended up offering me a great price for the fencing, and I accepted. He swears he’s getting paid for labor as well as material, and I’m not sure I believe him, but it will be great to have that pasture fenced – we will not need to buy hay this summer – and I will make sure he is compensated fairly, one way or another. I am not as strong as Todd, but I am as stubborn.

It is inspiring to me to meet a strong man like Todd, a family man, a friend and somebody whose word is worth it’s weight in gold. Todd knows that strength is not only muscle, not just combat and argument,  it is love and friendship and commitment is well. I don’t meet a lot of strong men like Todd, but it is immensely uplifting to know they are out there and to have one in my life. A woman e-mailed me yesterday and said she would love to see me photograph a strong man and a strong woman together.

Done.