I grew up in a family where good news was forbidden. In the villages of Russia, evil spirits were everywhere and nothing brought them running quicker than expressed happiness. If you said you were happy, all of the grandparents and aunts within sight started spitting and you learned to be neutral about your life, at best.

Last night, I had a talk with my daughter who is in Brooklyn, and she is doing well, hitting her stride. After years of struggling through the nasty jobs of the recession, she has found a good one, one that offers her a health plan, good bosses and work she loves. It is always wonderful for a parent to hear a child is doing well, it is fulfilling and uplifting in an elemental way. Emma and I have shared a few bumpy years, from the divorce to all sorts of changes in the world, and after she told me how she was, she asked how I was.

I am great, I said, broke but happy. And, I said, I suspect the two are not unrelated. I am living a good and full life, the best, I think, my life has ever been. I have found love after much wandering in the desert, I have done some of the hard work on myself I needed to do, moved towards authenticity and an understanding of what security really means. I have mostly shed the deep anxiety and panic that had enveloped me for much of my life and I am doing more and better creative work than I can recall ever doing. I am taking photos, have a book coming out in the Fall that I love, am moving forward with the changes I need to keep me relevant and doing the work I love writing. I am expanding my blog, planning a podcast, figuring out social media, and starting a string of e-books that will take me into the future, and who knows? I might even make a lot of money.

Our culture teaches that security comes from money in the bank and beyond, but that is the secular idea of security. I have never had less money or felt better or happier in my life.  How ironic that when I was richest, I was the most miserable. The spiritual idea is quite the opposite. Security comes from love and a meaningful life. Money challenges have brought me something else I have always wanted – a simpler life, one of responsibility, awareness, connection and authenticity. It has challenged me to be more creative, to work harder, and I am meeting that challenge. I appreciate living in a community where people know me. The bank will help if I need it, and I can ask anybody to spread out some payments and they all say, sure, we know where you live.

These are not things I knew how to do when I had a lot of money. Simplicity means Maria and I share our lives, work together, support one another in our passion for creativity, our creative spark. This morning, I woke up, but not in panic. I woke up in appreciation for my good and full life, which keeps evolving. I am getting so many good signals from the world.

Maria is happy and a wonder to watch, she is loving her work, selling her fiber creations as quickly as she makes them. She adores the animals on the farm, and they adore here. Good people are sending me contributions for the blog from everywhere, from $3 to $300. I am planning an e-book of photographs from Bedlam Farm. Color and light seem to find my camera every day. My daughter is thriving, in work and love. My blog, my voice to the world is soaring. I am learning how to manage my own life, set boundaries, be helpful to people when it is appropriate. My writer’s workshop is nothing but a joy, something I have sought for years. And I have some amazing animals – Lenore, Red and Frieda, Simon and Lulu and Fanny. I am loving a barn cat and even appreciating my photogenic chickens. (I’m still not loving sheep).  Maria and I love our new home very much, it fits us perfectly. Our chores together are sacred, magical time.  I love our old home too, and I know someone is coming soon to buy it and love it, it is such a magical place.

A good and full life is not perfect, and I can no more escape the realities of the world than anyone else. But I’m loving this life and appreciating it, and if I share the struggle, I very much want to share the triumph as well. Thanks for coming along for the ride, it is far from over. This week, I’ve decided to live to 90.