I went to see Alexander Lawrence –  “Alex” – at Mountainside Tattoos in Bellows Falls, Vt. today to get my third tattoo, a Swallow tattoo with a quote from Mary Oliver that was read at our wedding – it reads “put your lips to the world and live your life.” My motto, I suppose. My other tattoos both have “Maria themes.” Alex did the second one last year, much smaller than this one.  I wanted this one to be different. I loved the Swallow Tattoo idea. The Swallow tattoos are among the most meaningful and symbolic of all tattoos, popular for centuries among sailors who got them to signify trust, and having sailed a lot of miles, come a long way. I think it is perfect for me at this point in my life. After talking with me, he said it fit.

Alex suggested the Swallow tattoo (below) and showed me a bunch of computer mock-ups. We hit it off and I trusted him to choose my colors. Alex has been through some twists and turns in his life, which is now a creative one.  He was once in a gang in Massachusetts, got into graphic and Web design and has his own parlor. He blends technology with artistry, and loves to take photos and to paint.  He is a computer and online marketing whiz. He has nine children, loves motorbikes, and is planning to make some money so he can retire down the road and relax. He says tattoo artists have all kinds of writs and back problems from the positions they have to work in for long hours.  I think he will make it, he is thoughtful about his life, and a true artist. There’s nothing especially mysterious or dangerous about tattooing, it is increasingly popular and mainstream, but tattoo artists have a whiff of the outlaw about them, and tattooing has lots of enemies,  as I learned when I announced my tattoo plans on the blog, still quite controversial.

The internet is a fascinating place. There are good and bad things about it but it has spawned at least two traditions I consider scourges: unwanted advice and mindless controversy. In America, people seem to slowly be losing the idea that individuals can make their own decisions and be responsible for them. More and more people want others to make their decisions and they no longer consider it rude or intrusive (I do) to offer unsolicited advice, to presume it is wanted, or to argue with people who make decisions they might not like. This has always seemed obnoxious and arrogant to me, but e-communications make it easy, it is natural to many people.

I didn’t ask for people’s approval, I just shared the fact I was getting a tattoo and was opening to suggestions about what the tattoo might say. In fairness, I got a lot of good ideas, some were valuable to me in helping me make up my mind.  And most people, as usual, were quote supportive. Many were not. One Facebook reader asked me to meditate with my body to see if it wished to be painted or scraped, others simply told me not to do it, or said tattoos were repulsive to them. “Are you kidding?,” snarled one, “You are asking for ideas to burn something into your skin?” (Actually, there is no burning with tattoos, Alex used a find needlepoint dipped in dye.) Another begged me to change my mind. Many of the messages were written in the outraged and hostile tone that is rare on my Facebook page but part of the currency of the Internet. They are worth reading if only to see how far we have come from Thoreau’s idea that people have the right to make their own decisions, that this is part of living their lives, whether we like them or not.

I think the thing about the Internet is that it allows people to post without thinking much, or sometimes even reading the posts they are commenting on.  Why, I wonder, would tattoos be so controversial? Why would they threaten people so much? Although now that I think about it, a lot of people hated and feared my barnyard tire sculpture too and my pile of tires had been around for decades and seemed quite harmless and inoffensive to me.

For me tattoos are several things. One, an affirmation that I am an outsider like Alex (this may be what bugs people about them.)  People with tattoos have an instant bond with one another, they just know about living outside of the tent. Secondly, they speak to individuality. Human beings have longed wanted to adorn themselves, there is nothing dangerous about it  if you go to a good place (Alex is quite hygiene conscious, and the tattooing did not hurt much at all, it was more of a scraping than anything else.) Tattoos are also, to me an expression of creativity. Bringing color into my life, a statement on body that I wish to put my lips to the world and live my life. The Swallow Tattoos really hit home to me, the speak to a point in life.

As for the flap, I am not much taken with unsolicited advice or hostile messages. Neither makes much of an impression on me and I can’t recall it ever stopping me or changing my mind. I will take good care of my tattoo. I still have a gauze bandage on my arm, the photo below was taken right after Alex was finished and applied alcohol and anti-biotic ointment – that stung a bit. I am very happy with my tattoo. I might ask Maria to make a Swallow flag. I’m grateful to have one.  I asked Alex to think about one that comes all the way up my right arm the next time I’m in Bellows Falls.