My angel texted me, she has a new job, as a congressional assistant on Capitol Hill,

she was tired of long hours, all the paperwork, unrepentant sinners,

weekend work, no benefits, she loves the free gym, the jogging track,

the yoga classes and personal trainers,

complete health care package, pension and free cafeteria food.

The money, she says, is great. Government work is for her, it reminds her

of the Heavenly Bureaucracy before the Great Recession, plenty of money, lots of help, no rush.

Mostly, she says, everybody

begs for money all day, it’s not her business.

My angel even gets a free Ipad. She says she loves

to ride the elevators and text the other angels,

who are begging her to come back, they miss her, before God finds out

where she is and bangs some big drums.

She says she knows she should start a blog, but she is

nervous about opening herself up like that, she doesn’t want to go on Facebook

and send “go, girl” messages all day to people going shopping and telling everybody that they

are at the bus station now.

She loves the feel of a paper book, she says, change gives her a headache,

and she has borne all of the change she can handle.

She says she’s been laid off for six months

now, they’ve outsourced the angel work to Bangladesh, no more personal visits,

just e-mail and texting, call 1 800-Angel if you need salvation or guidance,

your call is very important to us, our angels are handling calls from other

pilgrims, seekers, aspirants and fallen souls, your call will be answered in the order in which is was received,

and if you wish, leave your number and an angel will call you next Tuesday at 8 a.m. We appreciate your business.

Besides, she says, I have no need of a blog now, I don’t need to listen to people where I am,

they just complain.

Nice photo of Simon, she says, can you e-mail me an image? I need a screen-saver.