I don’t see fear as much as I used to,

we grew up together, old pals,

he still comes sometimes to visit,

to sit by the bedside, tell old stories,

pat my leg in his creepy way,

and makes me shiver.

We talk about the old days, so many stories,

lots of memories, you were close,

as only old friends can be.

Don’t surrender the fear so quickly,

I tell myself,

Let it cut, deeply,

into the heart.

Let it shape and season me,

ferment me like wine,

as few ingredients, even the divine,

can do. Let it keep me humble,

and grateful and help me to never look back,

at what is unbearable to see.

Something is missing in my soul tonight,

has made my heart so soft,

my eyes so cloudy,

my voice so tender.

Don’t surrender the loneliness so quickly,

let it wrap me in its shroud,

it’s cold embrace, the mist in my face,

and teach me how to feel,

to be,

don’t surrender who I am,

run away from me,

give myself away.

my need of love,

and light,

so clear.