Walking in New York City, I could see two worlds, the one above the clouds, the one below, and I thought – I couldn’t stop looking up at this eerily beautiful sight – I live in two worlds all the time, the real world, the one where life happens continuously, the other world, the spiritual world, the world of imagination and aspiration, the world I aspire to, the world I live in.

In New York, I finally got to see the Coen Brothers new movie, “Inside Llewyn Davis,” it was a beautiful movie, I really loved it, the acting and music were wonderful, the photography just achingly beautiful. I should be honest and say it was a sad, melancholic movie, there was a lot of life and truth in it, not so much hope and relief. It is very much about the two worlds most of us carry around in our heads.

The story is about a Dave Van Ronk (he was a marginal 60’s musical figure in Greenwich Village) type musician in the pre-Dylan era who is okay but not brilliant, and he wants to be brilliant and successful and the creative struggle is eating him alive. He is broke, cold, lonely and ferociously committed to his folk music. He is not an easy person to be around and nobody much wants to be around him. He is an alienator, somebody who viscerally keeps people at bay and annoys almost everyone around him but a cat.

There is an absolutely magnificent scene in the middle of the movie where Llewyn, who is inhabiting the smoky cafes of Greenwich Village in the late 1950’s, travels to Chicago – a grueling and depressing trip –  to meet Bud Grossman, a music producer played by F. Murray Abraham. Grossman listens carefully to Davis and tells him an awful truth: “I don’t see any real money here.” Davis sees his future, finally comes to terms with it. It is a knockout scene, the heart of the film.

I related quite a bit to this movie and this character, I see myself as someone who has had to come to terms with being good but not as great as I wished to be, as others are. I think this is the great creative struggle, to come to accept where you are, not where you hoped to be. I like where I am, I am grateful to be where I am, but I have also worked hard to accept that I am good but not great in my work, and I always wanted to be great. I always wanted to be John Updike, I am not John Updike, I will never be. Acceptance is a faith with me, an ideology, it is what the animals have taught me about life.

I think this is a wonderful film, I highly recommend it, but it is not a cheerful film, you will not laugh or walk away tapping your feet. Be prepared to be a bit sad about the Llewyn Davis’s of the world, creative warriors who never quit but never quite get where they most wanted to go. The genius of the movie is that is it not about greatness but the reality of being ordinary, accepting who you are may be the greatest creative challenge of all.