I already felt as if I’d had a full day when I got back from driving Maria to the airport, we left at 3 a.m., I got back home at 6 a.m. I walked and fed the dogs, let the chickens out, cleaned their coop, brought water and hay to the donkeys, same for the sheep in the next pasture. I checked on Liam and let him and Pumpkin out of their stalls. Liam looked a bit tentative but healthy, the wound on his back looked good.

I rushed to the doctor for a routine check-up, ran into town to do some chores, cleaned up the  house, fed the cats, put up a photo on the blog. I was wondering what the state of my book proposal was, it was floating somewhere around New York. I called the cable company to drop some of the TV packages we are paying for, we just don’t hardly ever watch TV. I went into town to do some chores, I was bleary-eyed from getting so little sleep.

When I went into the barn before noon, I saw a disturbing sight, Liam was curled up in a corner nearly upside down, shaking and struggling to breathe. I thought he was very close to dying. Suzy was frantic, racing back and forth, trying to get him up. I gave him a vitamin booster shot, got him into a stall, I couldn’t get him on his feet, his breathing was erratic. I called the Granville vets, they were swamped with calls – this is a busy time of year. I spent an hour calling four different vets, they were all busy.

I even called my small animal vets, Cambridge Valley, but they couldn’t look at Liam. I was about to throw him into the car and drive him to a small animal hospital. Then Granville called and said they had a cancellation, Jason was on his way. We spent an hour or so with Liam, checking him out, and then the phone rang and it was my agent, he was close to a deal with a publisher for me and my next book, he had to talk right now.

I said I was in the barn dealing with a sick lamb, and he was incredulous, he is a New York agent, he could hardly believe it. He said we had to talk right now, so I talked to him on my cell phone – interrupted from loud baaaahs from Liam and Suzy. I think my agent thought I was nuts. But he struck and deal and I approved it. I had to run to the post office, the food co-op, the printer who is doing Maria’s note cards to get proofs, the post office to check on my P.O. Box.

We got Liam bandaged up and it was time for another hour or so of farm chores, feeding the animals, hay and water, cleaning out stalls and coops. I missed Maria acutely at that point. Lots of people have called up to offer to  help, it is a wonderful thing for me to feel there is such a net below me. It’s nine p.m. and I think I’ve finished up the evening chores – blogging, the dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the manure off of shoes and boots.  A dozen trips to the barn to put Liam on Suzy’s teat, he has to eat. Tomorrow has got to be quieter. I can’t say I missed Maria all day because I didn’t get to stop and think about it all day.

Maria called to say she loved being there and loved the people she was meeting. A good day all around. Tomorrow has got to be quieter. I miss her, but I sure did not feel lonely today, I was not alone for a second. Maybe this  is aloneness, the sense of fufilmment, of being a presence of mattering, the joy of living and loving and having someone to miss..