It is a very long road from disconnection to connection, and a lonely and painful one. I believe that it is connection that human beings most seek, most crave. It was all around me this weekend at our open house, which drew more than 1,000 people to our farm and our town in the last two days.
Connection presented itself in so many ways. When Bridget, my pharmacist, came to see me and Red and the farm. When Scott Carrino closed up the Round House Cafe and came to sing two beautiful songs that he had written. When Ken Norman, the farrier who helped save Simon, came to talk about the night they found him. When Connie Brooks opened up her bookstore and held an early morning signing so people coming to the farm could be sure to get a signed book. When the wonderful people of the Creative Group At Bedlam Farm came from all across the country to meet one another. When our young friend Tyler Lindenholl worked so hard to help with parking, clean up the farm, help us out.
When people from California, Oklahoma, Alaska, Florida, Texas, North Caroline, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, Ohio and Michigan, Canada and Alabama, flew, drove and trained to Cambridge, N.Y. to share my life with Maria and the animals of the farm with us. When Dot and Carol from Cardiac Rehab came to see me. When George Forss came to do portraits. When I saw faces of the people who love the New York Carriage Horses and who came a long way to thank me for writing about them.
Everywhere I looked I saw connection. In the people meeting one another for the first time, in the laughter, in the love for Simon and for Red and Lenore. And most importantly, for one another.
It is a longer list than this, it would take me a long time to list all of the connections I saw. Mine and Maria’s, the animals. A classicalmusician and teacher from Alabama named Denise Gainey – a member of the Creative Group At Bedlam Farm – came to Cambridge to meet some of the people who had shared her extraordinary writing about the illness and death of her mother, and to thank them and move forward with her life. It was overwhelming, I think, something new, something very powerful, hard for me to absorb.
I lived in the world of disconnection for so long, it is a cold and angry and fearful place, there is little light there and no warmth. At the Open House, I was enveloped in connection, it was all around me, there are so many good and loving people in the world, and for so many years, I never really know them or were certain that they existed in the world. A harrowing journey from one world, one life, to another.
At the Open House, we were all pilgrims on the same path, we were all looking for the same thing. It was exhausting, draining, exhilarating, inspiring. This Open House was bigger than the other Open House’s. It connected our lives very strongly to our town. People went to Round House Cafe- it is famous cafe now, someone said, like Alice’s Restaurant. They flocked to Connie Brook’s bookstore, she had a record-breaking weekend. George Forss opened up his tiny Ginofor Gallery, it was swarming with people when I stopped by. They visited Jack’s Outback Antique shop and brought me toy donkeys and sheep. They filled the B&B’s of the town.
In the morning, I had breakfast at the Round House, Scott said it was the busiest weekend he had ever had, the staff said it was a weekend of hard but joyous work, they loved the laughter and connection they felt all weekend. I love Scott, he wants more than anything to do good and be good to people. We have the kind of friendship I have always wanted and could never find. The therapists say it happens when you are available.
Somehow, it seemed a celebration of connection for both of us.
I signed scores of books at the farm, maybe hundreds over the weekend. I was thanked for my books, my photos, my writing about the horses. It was humbling, I felt every second that I did not deserve it, I was not worthy of it, it was so different from so much of my life that it was hard for me to believe it.
Maria has become a shining star, her art studio was crammed with people all day, both days, and she sold out of just about everything she and the other artists had made. A big thing, a beautiful thing in so many ways, for so many reasons. We did this together, a celebration of our live and commitment to one another. She has come so far. Both of us. People said I looked good, they seemed relieved, genuine. I said I felt good, I said I was lucky.
Simon the ham, getting famous now, basked in the attention, he filled his belly with carrots, was hugged and petted and kissed for hours, he basked in the glow, whenever I spoke, he brayed loudly, commenting on my talk.
And Red. What can I say about him, he put on an amazing show, we herded the poor sheep a dozen times over the weekend, and in between his demos, he greeted just about every single visitor while Lenore was run ragged by kids throwing sticks and balls. People just love to see him work, it is a pleasure to see how happy he makes people. He is such a remarkable creature, he works so hard for me, and for others, it is difficult to imagine life without him.
In some ways, I think the Open House was an antidote from the seemingly harsh world around us, a world filled with anger, violence and hatred. I had this persistent feeling, as the last person left, that the Open House is the real world, this is the true spirit of human beings, their true nature. It is an affirmation of the connection and humanity we all want and need. I am grateful, I am awash in relief that this road has brought me to such a beautiful place.