My farm is a living thing, organic and accepting and timeless, and her, the water have closed over Chloe as if she was never here. We cannot help but emotionalizing our animals and projecting our human waste onto them, but they are different, they live in their own nation and their experience of life and death and coming and going are not the same as ours.
I am a life-long book writer who always worked along and whose thoughts and ideas had room to grow and breathe – that was the idea, really. I suppose I will never fully get used to the way social media interacts with one’s own shared life. In a book those thoughts are mine, they belong to me, they get to live a bit.
Online, they seem to belong to everyone, and everyone gets a say. There is something democratic and wonderful about that, and something awful about it. I wrote yesterday that I did not see Red as my best friend, as close as we are. I need a human best friend to talk to me, challenge me, and love me.
In seconds, a very nice and thoughtful woman posted a very civil message saying: “I peacefully disagree. Haven’t had a best friend since high school. I’m childless by choice, single, and too independent and frank for most folks to handle. It’s lonely being me. By necessity, my dog is most definitely my best friend. ♡♡♡.”
There was absolutely nothing offensive or disturbing in Lori’s message, but I did say to her that this was not an argument for me, not something for others to agree or disagree with. It was just what it is true for me, if her dog works as a best friend for her, I am truly and sincerely happy for her. I couldn’t possibly agree or disagree with her, I don’t know her and I don’t second guess the choices other people make in their lives.
I fear we are losing the idea that we all have our own path, ideas and choices to make and my idea is to respect that, not to agree or disagree with each one.
Social media is what gives people the idea of commenting like that on my life and other people’s lives, and yes I ask for it, benefit from it and accept that it will not change in my lifetime. I’ve been writing online for 30 years, I know how it works. Social media is relatively new and quite revolutionary.
It’s for me to get used to it, especially when it is cast in so honest and peaceful a way as Lori’s was.
Can’t any idea just live and breather for a minute, why do people feel they need to agree or disagree with every one that appears? Thoughts ought not to be controversial at birth. Thoreau would have thrown himself into Walden Pond.
Putting aside other people’s ideas about it, Chloe’s departure to the farm was loving and peaceful. It felt right to me and to Maria, she will be in the constant company of horses – Treasure called last night to tell us that Queenie, the standard horse and Chloe – had bonded, and were hanging out together. Chloe has a horse pal. She will be loved and visited and ridden and talked and fed all day long.
The experience reminded me of sending my daughter Emma off to camp and fretting for days about how she was doing? Was she all right? Happy? Had she met friends? Was she homesick? Treasure was sensitive to that.
On our farm, there was he sense of quiet, of peacefulness. Lulu stepped effortlessly into the role of leader, chasing the sheep away from her feeder, something Chloe, who is easy-going, always permitted. The sheep went about their business as usual.
It did not escape my notice that Chloe’s departure was good for the management of the farm. She was big and heavy and turns a lot of grass into mud. Her presence tripled the size of our manure pile, and our manure-shoveling time, and because of her voracious grass eating, we had to adopt a stringent rotational grazing plan to make our pasture last for six months.
We have three working pastures and a paddock now, we can just leave a gate open and sleep late if we wish.
Because Chloe was so large and assertive, she made it harder for me to spent time with the donkeys, Chloe always backed them off, hoping for hay or a treat. Donkeys are conflict averse, Lulu and Fanny never challenged Chloe, I felt I got a bit distant from them and I am deeply attached to our donkeys, I’m excited to spent more time with them in an easier way.
And then, there is Red. Chloe and he never quite got along with Chloe, she stomped him several times, and he bit her on the leg a few times. I always had to be careful around the two of them. Red will never back down from his duty to herd sheep, and Chloe will not back down either, she is impatient and not shy about biting or stomping a dog in her way.
She loved Fate and never minded her (Fate often hid between Chloe’s legs when the sheep went after her), but Red was too assertive and stubborn, I think. He would not get out of her way.
He seemed more relaxed out there today, I don’t think Fate noticed Chloe’s absence one way or another. If the sheep noticed, I didn’t see it. And there is, of course, a little more space to spread out in the Pole Barn.
The farm plan just got easier.
We will need 30 per cent less hay, which is a substantial amount of money, and fill the water tanks half as many times each day. The farrier visits will be faster and less expensive, and we will need fewer alfalfa treats.
The treats we do buy will last longer, and the pasture will not become such a bog in wet weather. Chloe dug up a lot of dirt. For a small farm, those are not inconsequential things. Same with large animal vet bills, the last one for Chloe was about $250. For people with pets, it’s all about emotions and often, drama. For people with farms, there is a long list of practical things to consider.
After farm has its comfort point, a balance between grass, barns, money, space and time. Ours feels good right now.
Maria misses Chloe, and felt her leaving deeply. I felt it also, although to a lesser degree. She was always Maria’s pony. The other animals very much are ours, both of ours. It is healthy, in a way, to recognize what it is we can easily do and what we can’t. We are both busy, and getting busier, our lives our full. It is important that the animals never suffer for that.
Even now, there is a lot to do. Two border collies is the equivalent of about a half-dozen Labs in my mind, in terms of the attention and work they need.
Chloe and I have grown close, she has taught me a lot and won me over. I was not happy to see her go.
I love kissing her on her soft nose, and I admired her independence and strong personality. She was a very dominant presence here, I was greeted every morning by her stomping her hooves impatiently and her proud whinny, celebrating the coming of food. And of course, she was important to Maria, who is, I believe, grieving quietly for her and in her own way. She posted a video about going into the pasture this morning.
I like the peacefulness and the quiet this morning. Everyone seemed more relaxed. It felt like a good thing to do, then and now. We are going to visit Chloe this afternoon to see how things are going. More later, and thanks for following the story with us.