I admit to being a prude. I am embarrassed talking about sex, and although I curse regularly, I don’t use sexual terms, I never speak in sexual terms any person, and I never talk about sex.

Maria can tell you that even speaking about sex embarrasses me so much I turn red and often have to cover my face with my hands. And she loves to tease me and make that happen.

This comes from my mother and grandmother.

Minnie Cohen was a penniless refugee from a peasant village in the Ukraine, but she had an imperious air about her, she thought she was the Queen Of Douglas Avenue – a row of three-story tenements –  in Providence, which is what we called her. I loved her dearly, but she was an imperious snob sometimes, and she warned me – standing in her peasant dress and thick black shoes –  constantly about the poor domestic gifts of gentiles, they did not clean, shop or cook well enough for me.

Aside from the fact that this proved to be true – my wife does not cook, clean or shop much, she is fiercely and proudly undomestic – my grandmother passed this onto my mother, who assumed many of her pretensions and airs.

We never spoke of sex in the house, or talked roughly. “We are,” she would huff, “New Englanders!,” as if Cotton Mather were joining us for dinner.” I think she thought of herself as a descendant of the Puritans, a kind of royalty, above common and ordinary folk. New Englanders by way of Kiev, I would mutter.

So I think this is how i became a prude.

This came up in my mind when I tried to write about Robin Gibbon’s determined effort to breed Hannah, Gus’s mother,  with a gentleman Boston Terrier from town named Knox. I assumed Robin would artificially inseminate Hannah, which is what most high-tone breeders I know do.

No messy mounting or intercourse, I thought,  just the insertion of semen into the female (I don’t like the term “bitch.”).

But that was before I really knew Robin, a true and deep dog lover through and through.

Robin’s interest in breeding was not show or money or pride, she loved Hannah so much she couldn’t bear the idea that she might live  her life without the experience being a mother, or even of loving another dog, if we can say that. You have to understand that Robin takes her two Boston Terriers out for a ride each morning, they insist on it, she says.

Robin wanted it to be a natural experience for Hannah, and she was adamant about finding a gentleman male Boston Terrier, one who would treat Hannah appropriate and give her a positive breeding experience. She was very careful about it.

I noticed in talking with Robin, the vet and other breeders that nobody talked about sex or mating, they all said the dogs would be “tied” or “tied up.” Maybe “bred.”At first, when I heard this business of being “tied,” I thought they were planning some sadomasochistic ritual, I was surprised, it didn’t seem like Robin.

it took me awhile grasp that we were talking about sex, about Hannah getting laid. The first few days with Hannah and Knox didn’t go well.  Robin sent me cryptic text  messages.

Hannah wasn’t in the mood, she was standoffish, not interested. I was beginning to despair, but nobody had yet messaged anything about sex. Craig Worboys, Knox’s owner, just talked about the two dogs getting together.

“She’s picky” Robin cautioned. And one thing for sure, nobody was going to pressure Hannah to  hook up with any horny dog she didn’t like.

Then after a few quiet and silent days, Robin sent me this text: “Positive attempt. Got tied. Will try again later to make sure.”

And then, a day later, a message from Craig: “Good news! Hannah and Knox tied up yesterday. We are going to try it again to make sure.”

I gathered more information later. Hannah had a good time. She screwed her socks off. She had SEX! And more than once. There! I’ve said it.

There, I’ve said it. I never really like pseudonyms. I am glad it was a meaningful and loving experience for Hannah. I can’t wait to meet her puppies. And perhaps I am getting over my sexual hangups about words and won’t blush anymore and my wife can’t torture or tease me.