Day: July 4, 2018

Not too long ago, parents and grandparents died at home, surrounded by loved ones who came to see and understand life and death. That is no longer true for most people.

For Ed’s grandchildren, nothing is hidden. They are not protected from death, they know exactly what is happening and what will happen. They participate in almost every part of his illness, in a way few children in our time are permitted to do.

The Boomer culture is driven by the idea that children must be protected from the trials and sadness of life, the farm family has a different ethos, when there is trouble they all band together.

Boomer parents work feverishly to prevent their children’s problems or to solve them. That is not what happens with farm families.

The children are a part of everything, they see everything, from chores to slaughter to the death of people they love. They are left alone to solve problems, the Gulley grandchildren are strong and confident. (The farm community is gathering to create a food chain for the Gulleys, so a meal is brought to them every single night.)

It is a beautiful thing to sit and watch Jaiboy and  Schuyler care for Ed while Carol is out doing chores.  Jaiboy is handing Ed the colored markers for her sketches, Schuyler is asking him if he wants something to eat.

They do not flinch or show any kind of uneasiness, they are poised and competent. They want to be there, they want to help. They pay close attention to Ed and what they are doing.

Ed loves being around his grandchildren, as they love him, he says it is wonderfully helpful and uplifting to him to have him there.

In the video below, Schuyler asks Ed if he wants anything to eat, and he asks for some ice cream.

She brings it, helps him to eat it with care and skill – the adults do not monitor or praise their children, they are given the chance to do well on their own – and Ed accepts their care and love. Come and  see this vignette of love and care and the rich community of a farm  family. Very few children are raised in this way, in most of our culture, they are strangers to death.

That is a sorry thing.

It is profoundly spiritual and healing thing when they are present.

Happy Fourth Of July, fellow citizens of our great country.

On this national birthday, we are engaged in a great  and troubling search for identity, we are looking to reaffirm or rediscover the shared values that define a country that has always been in conflict with itself, at times even more so than now.

Today, for me, I cannot think of a better place to be than with my friend Ali, and my new friends Lisa, Mudasir and Baseer as we go to that most American of places, a Wal-Mart near Albany. It sounds strange to even write that. But it’s true.

We go there to help this family get to the open field that has always been the American dream. We go to the one place nearby that can meet so many of their needs, from soap to food to games and toys and clothes.

On this blog, in this place, my fellow citizens, also known as the Army Of Good, send hundreds of dollars to help Lisa and her sons, good people who want nothing more than peace and freedom, those most American of things.

They very much love America, they know first hand what it means to be here.

Thanks for your help. Thomas Paine said the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. I’m in, we are in. Hail the Army Of Good, a mighty army on the march.

We go to Wal-Mart, of all places,  to help welcome this family to America. While they still mourn the loss of their father, killed in Afghanistan, they are working every day to adjust to their new country, its new culture, it’s different schools,  even as the struggle rages all around about  how we see them and welcome them.

We couldn’t really think of any better place.

My idea for this patriotic day is to make sure this family has  what they need today, insofar as we can provide it, and for these two quite wonderful young men to get their first toys and set of new clothes in this rich and divided country.

Lincoln said that America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. That never  seems more true than now.

I have never seen myself as a warrior, but I am a warrior now, in my own way, my own time. One person at a time, one good deed at a time. I don’t need to hate or shout at those who disagree with me, I just need to do good as I and the people who support me define it.

In my heart today, there is no fear and no anger and no argument for others. The America I love and know is a generous and welcoming and compassionate nation. That’s the birthday message at Wal-Mart. Today, I take Lincoln to heart, I will work from the inside to honor our real promise and legacy and I understand it.

I will do the best I can for as long as I can. I’ve never spent much time in Wal-Mart before, but this is where I belong today. In this country, if you follow it’s sometimes tortured history, we have always been at odds with one another about important things.

I am proud to be there with my good friend Ali, an American citizen and Muslim committed to doing good. And with Lisa and Mudasir and Baseer, who are no threat to us and mean us no harm.

And what can be more American than this: An American Jew turned Quaker, and an American Muslim heading to Wal-Mart to welcome our new brothers and sisters to America?

We have always worked  to get to the right place in America. Sometimes we have failed, most often we have succeeded. That’s our story.

I have absolutely no doubt  we will end up in the right place again, because that is our destiny also. Happy birthday to you. I wish for you all a peaceful day. On to Wal-Mart.