I first realized how sick Red was during the winter, when he collapsed, stopped eating and seemed to be in great pain.

We were to discover he had suffered a severe spinal injury and rapidly spreading and severe arthritis of the spine. It would cripple him, I was warned, and it did. .

Bud was relatively new to Bedlam Farm, he astonished us by responding instantly to Red’s illness. He stayed with him day and night for several days.

Red seemed to be calmed by Bud’s presence and accepted him. The two curled up together like kittens, something I had never seen Red do. We were deeply touched by this friendship.

It was a powerful thing to see Bud’s loyalty to Red and to begin protecting him. Soon, he would be keeping the sheep away from Red when he began to lose his sight.  He tried to protect Red right up to his death.

This image was a beautiful testament to loyalty and friendship in my mind.

What was going on in Bud’s mind? I don’t know, really.

The biologists say those pack animals are always aware of sickness and frailty, mostly because sick animals are a danger, they draw predators. If I had to guess which instinct was at work, I would say Bud was protecting a member of his pack.

From his first day, Bud was drawn to Red and loved him. After Red died, Bud went along with life, as usual, eating playing, chewing his bones and treats. He has shown no new or different behavior, there are no signs of grieving.

This is the wondrous thing about dogs, just when I think they are like us, I’m brought up short by reality. They are nothing like us,  they are adaptable and forward-looking and even ruthless in a way we simply cannot comprehend, or perhaps don’t wish to comprehend.

If we walked away like that from or loved ones when they are sick or dying, we would be considered cruel and inhuman. Dogs move on, they adapt, it’s what they do, it’s why they have survived so dramatically with humans, who kill almost every animal they can get their hands on, one way or another.

I know this diagnosis is not what many dog lovers want to hear. When people don’t know what their dogs are thinking, they fill in the blanks with emotional human stories.

We get the dogs we need, we tell ourselves the stories we need.

I do that sometimes myself, even though I knew better. It is very human for us to project our emotions onto the animals we love, we know no other way to understand them. When people comment on this post, some will say they know that I am wrong, they know for sure that Bud understanding that Red was failing and would die and wanted to comfort him.

Some will call me mean-spirited and heartless, I know the script by heart. People say they like to think, but many people hate people who make them think. The left and right make it unnecessary to think, they do it for us and teach us instead how to hate.

My idea is to accept this friendship between Red and Bud.

The people I respect say – almost unanimously – that we are not close to knowing what a dog is feeling or thinking, if we look closely, we can recognize some emotions. That’s where I leave it.

I have no desire to meet Red on any bridge when I die, to find him waiting for years for me to show up so I can throw balls for him for all eternity. He deserves so much better than that, I hope is busy and engaged up there in his own next life.

And does it really matter if this friendship is instinct or conscious reasoning and compassion? Probably not. Like the political world, the animal world is full of specious arguing that goes round and round and never lands anywhere.

It was certainly a beautiful and heart-rending thing to see Bud stay close to Red when he needed him. I will leave the analysis of Bud’s thinking to the people who believe they know. I accept that I do not, and probably will not in this life.

I’m just lucky to have seen it.