When my daughter Emma was born, I remember that one of the first things my then-wife Paula Span said was that she would not dress Emma in pink, nor did she want any gifts or presents of pink clothing.

Pink was a dainty girl’s color, she said, and she didn’t want Emma to think of herself in that way. This was at the height of one of the first great waves of the modern feminist movement. Paula could not have applied to a single collect that Emma applied to because she was a woman, including Yale, where Emma went.

Nor could she initially get a job at any newspaper for anything but the fashion or features departments. She ended up writing for the Washington Post.

Pink was a battle cry, in a way, a no-no for women who called themselves feminists. Two weeks ago, I wrote that I didn’t want to get a pink collar for Zinnia, because she was going to be a therapy dog, a working dog, not a dainty little girl.

My daughter Emma does not buy any pink clothes for my granddaughter Robin that I’ve seen.  I would not think of buying any pink clothing for Robin as a gift.

But that is my prejudice, not hers.

But things have changed, and nobody sent me the bulletin. I try to keep up with things, but these days, that is something of a full-time job. You really have to be on Instagram these days to be anything close to cool, and that will change shortly if it hasn’t already.

I was instantly inundated with messages saying my thoughts about Zinnia and a collar were a mistake, pink was a color women were taking back as a sign of pride and strength, just as young gay people have co-opted the word “queer” now and use it proudly to describe themselves.

Of the dozens of messages I got, only one woman said I was right to choose a different color for a working dog.

Interestingly, just about every woman at the Mansion – all in their 80’s and 90’s – said they didn’t like the color pink for a working dog. They said I should choose something like brown.

In feminism, as in politics, there is little that is black and white, there are many different hues and shades of gray.

Maria, whose art is often cast in a feminist context, said I was wrong about the pink, it was a proud color that represented woman, not something to be hidden or abandoned.

My friend Sue Silverstein, a teacher at Bishop Maginn, also argued with me for a pink collar for the puppy.

She said Zinnia looked to be a sweet girl, and women can be both soft and strong. She is going to buy the first collar for Zinnia, it will be pink.

I called Emma and asked how she felt about pink clothes for Robin. She said she didn’t buy pink clothes, but if Robin wanted something pink, she wouldn’t object. She said it wasn’t really a big deal to her, either way.

I asked what she thought about a pink collar for Zinnia. “She wouldn’t care if it was pink,” she said. Thanks for nothing, I said, and we both laughed and hung up.

Clearly, it’s lost the sting for her.

For much of my life, pink was associated with a kind of girl and woman that I didn’t really want my daughter to see herself as it seemed like a kind of unhealthy labeling to me.

But we live in a fast-changing and rapidly evolving world, and I reject Old Fartism in all of its forms.  And the worst form is workshop of the old days.

I don’t need to accept any kind of change, but women can choose whatever colors they wish. I just try to keep up.

I went online the other day and looked through many dog collars and I chose pink, with Zinnia’s letters in large type and my cell number alongside. I was a bit queasy about it – I refused to ever put a pink collar or bandana on Rose, my great champion border collie. I wouldn’t put on on Fate either, neither did Maria.

Robin, another friend, and waitress at Jean’s Place, argued strongly for pink, and she glowered at me when I wondered if it wasn’t too girlie-ish for a working dog. Apparently not.

It’s a fascinating thing, this collar. Emma could apply to any college she wanted, and Robin will face fewer obstacles than she did, although the MeToo movement reminds us that women are far from equal in our culture.

Still, there has been staggering change. In Robin’s world, there are now more women lawyers than men, more female doctors than me in medical school, more women vets than men, and more women going to college than men.

The discrimination against Paula was very real, and it was not that long ago. But long enough, I think, to bring a lot of change. Pink still means something, but not what I thought it mean.

But attitudes evolve and names are important, and I learned enough in this exchange to get comfortable with a strong pink collar for her when she gets a bit bigger.

My pink Zinnia collar arrived today, and I like it. I’m thinking it’s no longer a big deal, just as Emma said.

It makes sense to keep my eyes and ears open. I missed something in between then and now.

If so many of the people I know like and respect pink and say it’s okay, then it’s okay.

And you know what, after I see it on Zinnia a few times, I won’t give it another thought. It will look completely natural to me. Zinnia doesn’t care, and I won’t either.