I’ve had lots of dogs, as you know, and I sometimes look back and try to recall what was the most important thing for me when it comes to getting a dog, and I come up with the same answer every time: sweetness.
I have three of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever. Some are rescue dogs, some from breeders, some from shelters. But the thing I most need and want and zero in is temperament – do they love people, can they get on with other dogs, will they love me and let me love them.
Some of this goes back to my childhood, where I craved sweetness and love and had trouble finding it. Every morning, after showering and doing the farm chores, I sit in my living room chair, talk to Maria, and get organized for the day – make phone calls, check e-mail.
Every morning, the Bedlam Farm posse gathers around me and watches me closely. Maybe they are looking for treats (they don’t get any in the morning, perhaps they are wanting to play or go for a walk. All I know is that I love the looks in their faces, I take it as love, no matter what the real motive. And it is a gift to me.
I’ve always understood that the main challenge for me is getting a dog is not looking for moral praise and satisfaction, but understanding what I needed and wanted and could love with an open heart. That is the best gift I could ever give to a dog. And the best way for me to get one.
I can’t imagine telling anyone how to get a dog. Some people need a lapdog, some need a wretched dog to heal, some get off on having vicious dogs who frighten people. Humans are like that, we are all different, we all have different needs.
Why should there be only way for so many divergent and diverse people to do anything?
People who say there is only one way to get a dog are not my friend of friends of dogs; they are most tending themselves and their need to feel good about themselves. Nobody who tells me how to get a dog is a friend.
People who are my friends ask me what kind of dog do I want and need.
Bud is a rescue dog, a testament to the fact that a dog doesn’t have to come from a breeder to be sweet. He is delightful and affectionate. But I did everything I could to make sure.
I grilled the fosterer; I talked several times to the vet who was treating him for his heartworm and other wounds.
I asked a thousand questions of everyone who knew the dog: how was he around food? Being touched? Near children? Going to the vet?
Bud had a lot of behavioral and other issues, as neglected and mistreated dogs often do, but I learned that he loved people, loved to be handled and scratched, played with other dogs. I guessed we could bring him back, and we did.
If I hadn’t done my homework and been assured of his temperament, I wouldn’t have gotten him.
Fate and Bud came from experience and conscientious breeders, they knew about the lines their dogs came from and even then, I drove with Maria to Virginia to meet Fate and see for myself how loving a dog she is, for all of her weirdness. A breeder who can vouch for temperament going back five or six generations is the right breeder for me.
That has never failed for me.
I did the same with Bud. I sought out a highly recommended breeder who had been breed Labs for decades and made a point of breeding for temperament. Zinnia is perhaps the sweetest and best-natured dog I’ve ever had, including the lovely Lenore. She is innately generous.
This is so critical for me. I want the love that comes from sweet dogs, and I want a dog that others can love as well, dogs like Zinnia can give pleasure and laughter to people other than me.
I enjoy that. I want that. I understand that loving dogs are healing for me, they close the gap between what I didn’t have and what I want to have. I have no apologies to make for that, a sweet dog comes before an abused dog, it is my priority.
I don’t care about show ribbons. I want a dog that will love me and my friends and family that I can love, and whose love can be shared with others.
Looking at my crew every morning, seeing the way they look at me and wait for me to begin the day, I counted my blessings. I look down on three sweet dogs, each one a supporter of mine, and a balm and a gift to me.
It is a lovely way to start the day.
My own experience in choosing cats or dogs has been mainly good. I have had dogs and cats most of my life..I am soon to be 72 years old if I make it through this pandemic. All of my pets have been rescues or young animals from a vet. I do not take more than 3 or 4 minutes and I am able to find loving animals. Only once did I get a cat that did not get along with other cats by mistake all the rest of the dogs and cats were very loving. Loving and being loved by animals is one of life’s great gifts. This is only my experience, I am not commenting on anyone else’s needs/experiences.
This is the most precious picture – how fortunate you are to see this every morning. Love just radiates from their faces, and their sweetness shines through to us. Thanks for always sharing them with us.
Like you, Jon, I have had several dogs throughout my sixty-nine year-old lifetime. Can’t remember when the household only had one, it’s always been multiples of two or three. I’ve made a few mistakes over the years in choosing wrong temperament and personality. Lessons were learned. But for the most part I think, like people, there are more good dogs than bad. I can only count three that were problem mistakes out of all of them. Even with that they still loved in their twisted way. But I can’t agree with you more, sweet temperament is at the very top of my list. For the first time last year I deliberated on getting another one because I realized it might outlive me! But my health is still good and I said please just one more and went with it. My second Border Collie. He’s the sweetest. Love him to pieces. Everytime I handle him I think of what an excellent job the breeder did in setting the litter up to be fine pups for families. His name is Rowdy Boy and he lives with our fourteen-year old Cattle Dog on eight acres of woods and hills in Western Pa. Both are my joy.