I visit Melissa every Monday now at the Mansion, more often if she needs something. I bring her Wal-Mart Gift Cards so she and her two children can eat well and three times a day.

She is sick and getting sicker, a hard time for a single mother of two teenage children, and a job she can’t afford to skip or miss.

Melissa is a caregiver through and through, the love and care she shows is more than inspiring, it verges on the sacred. I know she isn’t feeling well and is in great pain but no Mansion resident knows that.

She never asks for help, works hard and every minute,  and has refused all of my advice about support groups, talking to her mother, letting her children know what is happening. I’m not at liberty to be more specific about her illness, and the doctors won’t say for sure either.

The gift cards we are bringing truly matter.

More tests. But they have ventured their opinions.

She just shakes her head when I urge her to build a support network, “no, no,” she says, “they will just worry.”

I am worried. Melissa is one of the great mainstays at the Mansion Assisted Care facility, she spreads love and concern to the residents all day. And it is hard to see this jubilant and radiant personality – she calls me her angel” suffer.

She is also a wonderfully loving and generous human being, a natural caregiver, there is not task too unpleasant for her.

She is very ill and seems to be getting worse. Her testing and diagnosis have gone on a long time, in the way of people who don’t necessarily have the best health care plans.

(I brought these notecards and gift cards to Melissa this morning.

She only schedules tests on Wednesday, because she can’t afford to miss work. Melissa has never asked me for help, but I know her well enough now to know when she is worried about feeding her children.

I admit this one is hard on me. But it is also another opportunity for me to remember the lessons of doing good and the limits of my power. Boundaries matter.

Today I brought three Wal-Mart gift cards inside of an “I appreciate you card” that Emily Gold made for me. I’ve asked for help from the Army of Good in buying enough gift cards to get Melissa and her family through this year.

Then I bought three $100 Wal-Mart gift cards with the money sent to me this week to help Melissa. Thank you.

I hope some of you can continue to support this program to make sure Melissa and her family have three warm and healthy meals a day. I am helping three other Mansion aides with gift cards as well, but their need is not as urgent.

If you wish to help (some of you already are, and thanks) you can purchase some Wal-Mart gift cards in any amount and send them to me, Jon Katz. 2502 State Route 22, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

If you prefer, you can also send me a donation, Jon Katz, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, and I’ll be happy to purchase the cards.

These gift cards are a wonderful way to help. The cards go straight to the people who need them and Wal-Mart cards are simple to buy and offer the refugees and the aides the chance to purchase what they need.

It is a way to keep their dignity and privacy also. People don’t just need food, they need toothpaste and toilet paper and deodorant.

That fact that Melissa takes the cards at all tells me how much pressure she’s under, she refused any help for the longest time, but her friends at the Mansion let me know she needed help.

The doctors say they are fairly certain what is wrong with her. She is terrified, I’m putting her in touch with a local support group, but so far, she refuses to call.

Today, she was in so much pain in her legs and lower body that she was crying. The fact that she will only agree to get tested on her one day off a week is prolonging this process.

I began thinking about all the ways I might help her and then checked myself.

This work demands boundaries, or we will all burn out. The needs are much greater than our ability to fill. But can be of help.

I can’t manage her illness, talk to her doctors, tell her what to do raise enough money to make her safe or stable, help her get better health insurance.

What I can do – what we can do and are doing- is to make sure she and her family have enough to eat. She has enough to worry about.

I’ve learned over the past few years to be restrained and bounded, we can do small acts of great kindness. We don’t have enough money to enter this process in a deep way. We can’t take over lives or illnesses. We are not a wealthy crew, and the great danger is burnout.

I don’t ever want the Army Of Good to be a tax-deductible organization with paperwork, boards of directors, and all kinds of regulations. I couldn’t handle that. So we stay small and do focus good.

So we do what we can do, and make sure we keep resources for others who need help.  I keep meticulous records and special accounts, being audited regularly, and stay small.

If you can buy a Wal-Mart gift card in any amount, that would be a great help. That’s what we can do. My heart breaks for Melissa, I hold her in the light.